Help...i have no friends

Hey @Princessmolly,

That sounds really hurtful. I am not sure what to say but wanted to say I can understand you must be hurting now a great deal. Facebook can be a blessing or a burden I think. Maybe its time to log off a while. Feel free to join in the beer garden thread if you want to chat to someone here, there is usually someone to have a coffee or drink with. Sorry I'm not much help, just feeling a bit crappy myself and have come on here to try to connect as I currently don't have much of a life that I feel connected to. Take care @Princessmolly

It's awesome you are getting out heaps @Princessmolly. Sorry you got me at my lowest point today. I'll be ok, just got to suck it up a bit and hope tomorrow is better. It sucks that you've been let down so much. I hope things get better. Take care💜🤗

Hi @Princessmolly

I feel the same. i have no social life for me. I'm a single mum, my kids are both in junior primary at school. I have a friend who looks after the kids sometimes if i have an appointment but thats all. and thats all i ever see of my friend these days as well. just when im dropping off the kids and picking them up. she's always busy, has a large extended family and commitments etc.

The people i work with either have no kids or their kids are older teenagers so they do stuff that isnt suitable for young kids.. not to mention usually out of my price range sigh. so even if i do get invited to something...

I love my kids and wouldnt change having htem for the world but sometimes i find it so hard doing everything just for them.

I always feel the same, went to the indoor playground iwth the kids today and i was the only adult sitting alone at a table. i always feel like the odd one out everywhere. but the kids had a great time and i had a coffee and read for a bit.

sorry, rambled about me! but i think i understand where you're at, unfortunately.

lj

Hi @Princessmolly,

it sounds to me like you have had friends in your life but that you've drifted apart from them. Well, friends do come and go.... I'm probably not the one to be able to give great advice, since I had a very long, torturous history of losing friends....

It helps me to reflect on each friend individually and think about the friendship from their point of view. What did they like about you and what were they getting from the friendship at the time? Did you get any valuable feedback on what you were like as a friend and what your best qualities were?

Not every friend is destined to be in our lives forever.

I remember one girl I used to hang out with all the time.. going to restaurants, bars, pubs, hanging out at each others houses... talking about everything under the sun. Then she suddenly moved to a different city... it was very quick- she told me she had to move for work and like one week later she was gone! After that, she never ever answered my calls or returned my calls when I left a message. She didn't answer my emails either! Poof! It's like she just disappeared.

What did I learn from this? I don't really know... perhaps that people are unpredictable?

I guess if I were you I might contact your 'best friend' and ask her if there was any reason why she didn't invite you to her party... maybe there is a good reason? But you need to talk it over or else she wont know you felt rejected.

And maybe give your sister a call and ask if you can go over and see her?

Hi @Princessmolly

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the moment.

I'm a bit like @Sahara, I have had a very unstable history as far as friendships go, and that goes back to Primary School.

I have BPD so I quite often assumed I was the problem, but recently I have contacted people who I was incredibly close to and drifted apart from. I asked for honest answers to see if I was the cause of the relationship breaking down, and it turns out I wasn't. It was simply that life got in the way, and a lot of people are not good at prioritising.

I totally agree with the facebook issue, I have deactivated my account and been off facebook for approximately 3 months. I must say it has been incredibly helpful to my mental well-being. I would quite often spend hours looking at other peoples lives and comparing them to mine. Something important to remember is people only post on social media the things they want the world to see. We don't see the dark side of their lives, which everybody has.

I am fairly isolated, I work from home and have very few friends and no family where I live, but this forum has been a lifesaver for me. Anything that is really important to me I feel I can discuss on here openly, and honestly, and there always seems to be someone who wants to listen, wants to help, wants to share their story with you.

I am very thankful for that.

Hi Molly

Thank you for sharing. I, too, have great trouble keeping and making friends. Of course I'm a 61 year old retired male and we're famous for not talking to anyone. I recently started a very similar thread to this one. Pop over and have a look if you like.

I can remember my wife and I having young chidren ( 3 under 4) and I think all young mothers tend to easily become socially isolated, just as older men do. When you add to that any aspect of mental illness, the effect is magnified. I did find my work brought a social aspect to my life. Because our children were ill a lot and eventually diagnosed as disabled, my wife had no such escape and I think has paid a heavy price, only lately discovering a charity she can contribute to with her skills as well as having a social time. Perhaps this might be something you could explore.

On the other thread, I talked a bit about people with MH issues tending to be thought of as 'difficult' people, while those who have physical illnesses are more likely to receive consolation and support. Talking it over with my wife, she reminded me that people with MH issues are more likely to be a cause of pain in the lives of our loved ones. To a certain degree, their 'hands off' approach might be for their own protection. I can see how in my experience how that might be the case.

I wish you well on the search for friends. It doesn't take all that many to help one feel supported and valued

zenman55