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The past few months

The past few months

Hi @Shaz51 @Carlo @Snowy @Blackbird11 @Appleblossom and many other friends I have forgotton -

Hope you are all doing okay. I needed a break and not sure if i will be on here daily like I used to. I've had to give myself some self care and boundaries.

Talking about boundaries - I am not speaking with my parents. after constant negative comments and not 'allowed' to see my dad I decided 'that was it' i couldn't take it from her anymore. So i took the huge step of no contact at all. i stopped. haven't seen my dad since April and yet it is still hurting me - but - at this moment i had no choice.

My daughter is having an engagement party in Nov. She decided to post a registered invite to them expecting it sent back. Well after a week of posting it - it was sent back saying 'we will not be attending'. no congratulations, wishing you all the best. Nothing!!! So my daughter has told me that she will NOT invite them to her wedding next year. I don't blame my daughter as she has been disrespected as a granddaughter. All because she (mum) wants to get back at me.

It is very sad and hurtful that my parents will not attend but it is what it is and i can't control what they do.

I am working very hard with my GP, psych and psychologist. On a new med started today to try and level out my intense emotions and mood. hoping it works.

my youngest son is having a fantastic time overseas. he and his gf have travelled to quite a few different countries while in the UK.

His gf applied for a teaching job back home, had a phone interview and got the job. so she will be back before Feb and my son will either come back same time or travel to Italy to see family then come home. i can't believe they have been os for 18 months now. time has gone by very quickly.

about 2 months ago i made contact with a relative that i hadn't seen for 40 years. we reconnected and i went to see her. it was an emotional meeting but really nice.

Then a month later i reconnected with my best friend of high school who I hadn't seen for 36 years. they live interstate but were travelling down south. so hubby and i caught up with them for 3 days at a caravan park and i surprised her. it was the BEST 3 days lots and lots of tears, laughter and sharing each others news. even the hubby's got on. we are catching up again early next year.

we are currently planning a 3-4 week road trip up north. we are hoping to go late Feb once school goes back.

talking about school - i can't believe my little A is 6 now and has almost finished prep!!! Where has that time gone?

take care my friends

bluebay xxxx

13 replies

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In response to: The past few months

Re: The past few months

hi @Snowie @Emelia8 @Blackbird11 @Shaz51 and others following -

i am sorry i just can't be here for anyone at the moment. struggling with my own stuff. just wanted to say that i am not able to chat you all. too caught in my own head and thoughts.

In response to: Re: The past few months

Re: The past few months

Hi @BlueBay

No need to apologise for taking time out for yourself. Do what you need to do.

Take care xoxo

In response to: Re: The past few months

Re: The past few months

Anger has set in today

triggered by memories of certain traumas

triggered by not talking to my parents

my dad - how can he NOT care about me; or call me

i keep thinking 'have i done the right thing in setting a boundary and not talk to my parents' but if i didn't i would still be emotionally abused by my mum.

i have lost ALL self esteem and confidence in doing things for myself. Going places is limited if i go by myself. i prefer to go with someone. i don't trust myself anymore, i don't care about my self as much as i used to eg. self care. some days even having a shower is a huge effort.

i feel alone at home yet i don't make an effort to go out. i am hibernating a lot lately.

friends have their own jobs and work full time; i don't feel i can call them as they have their own life and are busy.

i am still knitting and crocheting which keeps me occupied for a little bit of time. i seem to get distracted very easily and shift from one thing to another very quickly. i seem to have no patience for things.

it's so hard when i can't see improvement after 13 years since my childhood trauma came out. it just seems 13 years is a long time. i am exhausted.

waking up 3-4 times a night is making me exhausted and angry.

sorry for post, i needed to get this out.

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