I'm not doing well now...

Hi @Rhian Sometimes the more we try, the harder things seem. When we put so much pressure on ourselves to do better, be more, we seem to fail at everything. That is especially true, in my experience, when we are searching for some kind of peace and happiness in our lives. What helped me over time (lots of time) was finding the smallest things in each day that were positive. It is so easy to emphasize all that is wrong and all that we seem to fail in - and feeling like we do not matter or are bothering others but here on the forums, you are none of those. You have taken a courageous step in reaching out here and as a community we value you and everything you are feeling is so valid. Mental ill-health has a way of derailing our lives in so many ways but that does not mean it will be this way forever. You are among people here who get it though and I hope you find us a supportive community. Welcome to the forums 😁

Hi Rhian

I have felt that way. I thought it was the end. It happened to me more than once. But when it was over it was like the sun breaking through the clouds. I just found myself whistling a tune while I was folding my clothes one morning.

I don't know why I just remembered what it was like to be happy again. I played my favourite songs and walked faster. I even smiled. But it was just another day.

Hi @Rhian , it’s logical for you to feel this way now. Why? Because you removed all the distractions that kept you from thinking about yourself. So now you no doubt are (a mixture of conscious and subconscious thought) and your emotions are telling you some things need to change.

You’ve taken an important but painful step in self-improvement. You might be familiar with the saying “you can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs”. If you continue to work on yourself, identify what will give you lasting satisfaction in life, and work towards it.. your happiness will return and it will be deeper and fuller than before.

Do maintain social connections (here and in the rest of your life). We are social creatures.

When you are able, try to help others who have helped you in the past. Sometimes even the smallest gesture is appreciated far more than you would think and it feels pretty great.

Everybody has a right to exist, and to carve out a space to exist in their way.