Disconnect between body and mind.

Good evening folks,

I am unsure of my goal in posting to the forum, more so just a place to put my thoughts in a physical space. If this resonates with anyone, know you are not alone, we can do this together ❤️

Recently had a big 'event' happen in my life, initially it was easy to brush it off as nothing, I've been through traumatic experiences before, this one isn't any different, I know what I need to do, to stop it before it interferes with my life:

--> don't avoid

--> talk about it
--> seek help

well I did all of those, and it seems my fool-proof plan has failed. I am very much aware and in pain from what happened. I tend to still brush it off, but when I am finally alone from the distractions and walls I put up, it hurts.

I know it will continue to hurt, for as long as it takes. But, that doesn't mean I have accept it (just yet that is).

I feel as though a mind connected to a body, not those two things being one. Like those silly movies, when the aliens have taken a hold of the humans mind and is controlling its every whim. I've felt like this before, I know how to help myself out of it, but I'm exhausted.

I have a social thing this evening. All I wanna do is crawl into a ball and just stop existing, come back eventually, just a little break. But I can't. I have people in my corner, and it would pain them to see me take so many steps back. I will try.

Thank you for reading my ramble, I appreciate it, I hope you are feeling safe and comfortable wherever you are.

starpanda