Confused about whether I should hold onto some friendships

Hey @RA17

Thank you for posting here on the Forums!

It definitely sounds like you have been dealing with a lot from your friends and them not talking to you. Having been through this for 6 months already you are demonstrating your resilience in coping with this situation. And your courage in reaching out for support and talking about it here on the Forums.

I have been through similar situations with people in my life at the time and them dropping off for whatever reason. I have heard of a great line that "people are in our lives for a reason or a season"

if you have heard that before. I think it's very true and it's rare that we have people in our lives continually like family but it can happen.

I lost all my friends due to my MH and know what it's like to feel isolated and have a sense of worthlessness and being abandoned. I know that these people were not the right people for me and I have learned to put my efforts into people who genuinely care about me. By learning to be open about my MH and life experiences and people still accepting me for who I am and the person I am today.

I focused on my strengths and learned to see my values and live by them and not allow people to be in my life if they did not respect me. This all took and is still taking many years since I was abandoned and had to start from scratch again. I really value my friends and I let them know that by how I treat them and how I respect myself with them. This part of my journey is by no means over and I will be working on it for the rest of my life I believe.

I hope this helps and also by connecting with the community of peers here on the Forums. It's a safe space to talk about your MH experiences and share your feelings and thoughts with the community.

Take care

RiverSeal

Hey @RA17 ,

Good on you for posting and sharing what's been happening for you. I hear how much you have been hurt, and having this done to you more than once in such a short space of time must be so hard for you.

@RiverSeal made some really good points about focussing on your strengths.

In my own journey, I realised I needed to be content within before I could focus on friendships. That is, I couldn't rely on others to make me content.

Maybe for now, it's about being very open and honest with your friend and letting them know that you have been hurt more than once in a short space of time, and hence you feel a little vulnerable right now.

I'm not sure if this is the 'right' advice, so I'm sharing what has worked for me. It may not necessarily be what works for you. I pretty much don't try very hard with friendships. If they come to me, good. If they don't, also good. I one who doesn't put their life on hold to wait for a friendship to come or go.

Maybe you do need a bit of a break. Who knows? Do what you think is right for you.

Hi and welcome, @RA17 , it's good to have you here. 🙂

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I'm wondering if you can try again with this friend, after a period of time?

Also, I think @tyme 's advice for being open and honest with your friend is excellent.

---

@RiverSeal wrote:

I lost all my friends due to my MH and know what it's like to feel isolated and have a sense of worthlessness and being abandoned. I know that these people were not the right people for me and I have learned to put my efforts into people who genuinely care about me. By learning to be open about my MH and life experiences and people still accepting me for who I am and the person I am today.

---

@RiverSeal I really feel for you, as I lost 95% of my friends due to my 3-year nervous breakdown. I can really relate - I had to start again almost from scratch too. I am open about my MH too and have better friends now.

Hi @RA17 ,

How are you going with everything?

Hi, I am going well, this advice has definitely helped me. I was able to think through all the facts throughly and we gave each other some space. Thank you for all your help!!