FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Big mistake

Big mistake

I attended a cruise party in July 2023. I met a boy there and I liked him as soon as I saw him. We started talking to each other. We got each other’s mobile numbers and we added each other on social media. After then, we have been talking to each other and have been meeting up whenever we could.

So, two weeks ago, I was overexcited and I got a tattoo of his name on my arm but I did so without asking him. I wanted to surprise him the next time we met. He called me on Wednesday in the following week and made a plan to meet on the next day. I mentioned to him that I would show something to him when we would meet but he wanted to see it then only.

So, we did a video call on WhatsApp and I showed him my arm that had his name tattooed on. His reaction was showing that he was upset and he kept saying things like it was not good, it was only the beginning of the relationship and that I did not even ask him.

When we met the next day, he physically saw the tattoo on my arm and seemed very disappointed. When I was going, he came to drop me outside and said that he did not want to meet me until I get the tattoo removed. I could feel that he was very annoyed since he felt that his name was his own property and I should not have used it for the tattoo.

He also said things like that we are not that close and we have not been on a serious date as yet. On WhatsApp, we do not talk regularly and on call, we only speak for less than a minute. He felt that I was moving very fast and he was embarrassed because of me. He also said that in future, when my husband would also see the tattoo, he would not like it.

When I got home, I checked that he had blocked me on social media. I called him and he said that he does not feel comfortable having me added.

The next day, I did half day at work. Then, I went to the tattoo removal clinic and enquired about getting the tattoo removed. They said that this will require multiple sessions and can take up to a year to do so. Each session has individual pricing which makes it a very expensive treatment.

In the evening on that day, I went to the same tattoo parlour and asked them to do a cover up on my tattoo. They said that it was strongly recommended not to do it during the healing period. They said it is requested to wait 3 weeks before doing so. They even showed me pictures of scarred tattoos which were very unattractive. I left the parlour as I decided to wait. On Sunday, I booked the tattoo cover up appointment which was 3 weeks from when I first got the tattoo.

I called my boyfriend on Monday in the next week. I informed him about my appointment as I could not do anything during the healing period. I was sad as all the charm and enthusiasm was not in our relationship anymore.

I am missing him a lot. How can I mend my relationship with him after getting the cover up done?

19 replies

1 - 10 of 19

In response to: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

Hi @storyofmylife , sorry to hear things are not going so well. You said you were meeting up regularly with the boy you liked? That sounds fine, but for most people moving beyond that requires a bit more info. You might have jumped in too fast and caught him off guard. Don't worry, I did the same thing many years ago too! A proper relationship is decided between both people involved, not just 1 of them 🙏😉🙂.

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

@justanotherguy
After I get the cover up done, do you think things will be okay between us?

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

Hi @storyofmylife ,

I can't speak for him, everybody is different. You'll have to work it out with him.

In response to: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

@storyofmylife , welcome to the forums. I would hope that your boyfriend would see your efforts to cover up the tattoo, and would accept them.

After all, we all make mistakes in this life, and the thing to do when we realise we have made a mistake or hurt someone, is to apologise and try to make amends or do better. Which is exactly what you are doing - well done.

Sending you lots of best wishes...

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

Hi @justanotherguy ,

Please be mindful that comments made that they align with Community Guidelines - RESPECT, ANONYMITY AND SAFETY. https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage/title/community-guidelines

Some comments may be triggering for other members. If in doubt, feel free to ask on team@saneforums.org

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

It is my fault as I got overexcited about the tattoo. Though my boyfriend is able to forgive one mistake when I am trying to fix it, right?

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

Hi @storyofmylife , yes, I would hope your boyfriend is able to forgive a mistake.

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

Is it okay to call him now (before the cover up)?

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

Hey @storyofmylife ,

It sounds like a very difficult situation. As much as you are invested in this person, I'm wondering if he is feeling the same way?

We cannot answer whether you should call him or not before the cover up. That is a choice for you to make.

However, if you ever feel there is an uneven balance of power in the relationship, and you don't feel comfortable, I'd encourage you to speak to someone from 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732

https://www.1800respect.org.au/

In response to: Re: Big mistake

Re: Big mistake

@moderator ,

The behaviour described by the OP is clearly out of line. I have been a victim of this kind of thing a few times and it can turn quite dangerous. The OP needs to get some proper relationship advice, covering this thing up is not acceptable and could cause serious harm in the future.

EDIT: I have been yelled at, physically and psychologically attacked, property defaced, I believe a stalker has broken in to my unit several times (leaving visual proof for me to see). As stated the OP needs some intervention to prevent this from turning into some kind of bigger problem.

1 - 10 of 19