Hi @Leonie1
I am older still - and I have given up wondering if I have said or done anything wrong - what other people think is their business and - yeah - maybe they are busy or forgetful or whatever - I have long since stopped chasing people.
The issues in my family go way back into the past before I was born - perhaps before my parents were born - so I am definitely not the problem and I accept what happened because I can't change it and - I guess I have given up.
I wrote to a couple of family members who didn't or couldn't get to a family funeral and there were no answers - not my problem - I stopped trying and feel okay.
However - perhaps you don't - so self-esteem - that is something to talk about. You say you are doing better and that's good. I'm glad of that. We need to give ourselves a lot of back-pats through life because the chances might be other people won't.
We can only change ourselves - and we might not be in the right place at the right time to buddy up with someone. I chat with my neighbours - the shop-keepers - the people I meet through my day-to-day life and enjoy the surface of such encounters. I read an expression popular years ago called "psychological stroking" - this is what we get when we have friendly chats - there is no physical contact of course but - just the passing of time and the chance to have a bit of a joke - complain about the weather - always a safe subject - and smile. Psychological stroking goes both ways - everyone feels better.
Sharing the tough stuff - this is harder - we all go through tough stuff - and maybe we will not get a friendly chit-chat with someone else busy ploughing their way through a bad day.
So what to do? Don't ask if you have done something wrong unless you really think that might have been the case. Never ask question if you can't deal with the answer - even RUOK. Smile as you walk past stranger in the street and the best of all - admire other people's babies and pets.
Sometimes we are really lonely - I totally understand that - loneliness - however - does not draw people together. A good friendship is priceless - it might last a short time or a lifetime - if this happens - it's wonderful - and it still might.
All the best
Owlunar