Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Sweetpea2020Casual Contributor
Hi. Does anyone else have difficulty maintaining friendships? I’ve just lost another friend - possibly two - and am feeling distressed and anxious. Just lately I feel I am masking to present a happy, together person to the world, at the same time wondering if people can see I’m pretending and aren’t liking or including me. Thank you.
In response to: BPD trouble keeping friends
BlueBellsSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: BPD trouble keeping friends
Sweetpea2020Casual Contributor
In response to: Re: BPD trouble keeping friends
fluffylightSenior Contributor
In response to: BPD trouble keeping friends
puzzlingdinoSenior Contributor
Hi @Sweetpea2020,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have BPD too, and can relate to the difficulty with friendships that you describe.
I can hear how distressing this is for you, and I’m sorry that you are going through this at the moment. You deserve to feel satisfied with your friendships and to not feel the need to mask around others, and I hope that positive changes in these areas will come your way.
Right now, though, I’d encourage you to seek out ways to support your wellbeing to help get you through this tough period. At times when I have experienced something similar, I found it helpful to journal my thoughts, to engage with online communities, and to watch familiar/comforting content (e.g. YouTube creators that you can feel connected to, my favourite movies or TV shows, etc.), but I know that everyone is different and that you might have some ideas of what would work better for you. I know that it doesn’t always feel fair to be having to put in the work to support ourselves, especially when we might be wishing that others could be there to provide that support instead, but I hope you can see that caring for yourself and your needs is worth it.
Feel free to keep us updated with how things are going for you 🙂
In response to: BPD trouble keeping friends
Unknown userMember
Hi, I feel for you. I don’t have BPD but I have NO close friends. It’s just so difficult when you are anxious socially and I worry so much how others will perceive me. I always manage to get my words all jumbled up or put my foot into it by causing offence somehow. I don’t know. I WOULD like to have that friendship component in my life. Life can feel really empty without it.
In response to: Re: BPD trouble keeping friends
tymeModerator
Hey @Former-Member @Sweetpea2020 , I have BPD and I don't have any close friends. However, that's because I like it that way.
I'm interested to hear what a 'friend' means to you? Maybe because I don't tend to use the word 'friend' haphazardly. I'm not one to call everyone I know a 'friend'. It takes a LOT to be my friend.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts.
In response to: Re: BPD trouble keeping friends
Unknown userMember
Hey @tyme, got it right this time he he. I have acquaintances but no real close contacts (apart from family) with whom I could disclose my mental illness. I apologise, my words are just not forthcoming tonight 😞
In response to: Re: BPD trouble keeping friends
tymeModerator
No need to apologise at all @Former-Member .
I wonder if you would be interested in joining tonight's Peer Group Chat. This is a live chat. You can sign up for an account here https://client.chatwee.com/popout/5fe12dcb78c130638b151232
You can use your forums username if you want.
Tonight's PGC topic is Move with Motivation. It starts now and will finish my 8:30pm AEST.
In response to: Re: BPD trouble keeping friends
tymeModerator
Hi @Former-Member , How are you today? I'm thinking about you and hope you are okay.
Hi @Sweetpea2020 @puzzlingdino @BlueBells !
In response to: BPD trouble keeping friends
tymeModerator
Hey @Sweetpea2020 ,
I read your post again (for the 4th time) and really wanted to ask, why do you think you lose friends? I know you mentioned you lost another friend in your post. And what does it mean to lose a friend? Is it that they walk away, tell you not to talk to them, or simply don't answer you?
As a borderline, I could never maintain close relationships. I was a leech once I got to know people. I recognised this and so I, myself, stepped away for fear of hurting them or them getting hurt.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
