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Hello for the first time.

MuckyCasual Contributor18 Sept 2023, 10:22 am AEST

Hello for the first time.

I am a retirement age male, wife for who I am a full time carer and never had children. My wife is blind as a result of diabetes and has some moblity issues.

In January I was diagnosed with ADHD, it really was a surprise. I was aware I had suffered anxiety all my life and knew it was probably out side the parameters of normality but I was surprised at what turned out to be the real problem. I take stimulants which offer some relief.

I also experience some aspects of carer burn out. I suspect like ADHD you need to be a carer to really understand what is going on. I am largely socially isolated which took some years for me to accept this and it manifests itself in odd ways. So the reason I am here; I am not screaming out for help and my situation does not require urgent attention but it would be great to communicate with others who are in similar circumstances.

I am lucky because I do have many interests with some involvement in hobby like pursuits. I have no family and find I really have no friends. I have a few aquaintances who are important to me but like (I suspect) many people who fit my decription I have just never cultivated close friendships.

So maybe I will touch others here.

Thanks for reading!

7 replies

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In response to: Hello for the first time.

hanamiSenior Contributor18 Sept 2023, 10:35 am AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

Hi @Mucky and welcome to the forums!

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with all that's going on. Being a carer is very full on and your own diagnosis on top of that would add weight to the situation.

Do you get some respite from the carer's role where you can take some time out for yourself so you can pursue your hobbies?

I hope you find some nice connections here on the forums. Lots of supportive, like-minded people around.

I'll tag a few members who might like to say hi!

Warmest wishes

Hanami

@Shaz51 @DownButNotOut @TAB @MDT @Oaktree @StuF @Jacques @ClockFace @wordman @Appleblossom @wellwellwellnez

In response to: Re: Hello for the first time.

AppleblossomSenior Contributor18 Sept 2023, 11:00 am AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

Hello @Mucky Good to meet you. I am in early retirement partly due to a carers role, for my adult son. Welcome to the forum.

Isolation is very hard and I have been working at it as 'my hobby of the moment' all this year. Boy have their been ups and downs, but somehow I am still alive and kicking and my social muscles are getting stronger.

Tagging other carers ...

@Krishna @Owlunar @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Hello for the first time.

wordmanSenior Contributor18 Sept 2023, 11:28 am AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

@hanami

Hello Hanami. Thank you for your reply. Yes disability work can be exhausting, demanding, and challenging. At the moment, i myself only work part time. Yes i did have to work hard to buy my home and of course pay it off. There is no respite for paid carers. You just have to have a balanced work/life situation whereby you manage yourself in a healthy and sustainable way.

Fortunately i am currently working for a Gentleman in his 70's with Multiple sclerosis. I find working with this gentleman an absolute delight compared with what i have had to deal with in the past. I have managed to achieve a very sustainable work/life balance.

Thank you for your kind comments. I enjoy speaking with like minded people and hope to keep it positive.

Kind Regards

Wordman

In response to: Hello for the first time.

OwlunarSenior Contributor19 Sept 2023, 12:19 pm AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

Hi @Mucky

I'm not a carer- I did have a child with many problems who died many years ago - I do understand the stress caring puts on people - of course - I can't possibly now the way you are feeling - no one can - I am sure - but we can care about you.

I live alone and through the years circumstances I have accepted have made it harder for me to have close friendships. I am an outgoing person though and I feel friendly toward the people I meet in my day-to-day life - I have many interests and read a great deal too.

So yes - I am prepared to chat with you about your interests - and many people here will most likely feel the same way.

All the best

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Hello for the first time.

MuckyCasual Contributor19 Sept 2023, 12:35 pm AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. It is good to be informed of the experience of others. Sometimes for me just knowing I am not alone is enough.

In response to: Re: Hello for the first time.

MuckyCasual Contributor19 Sept 2023, 12:45 pm AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

Thank you for your good wishes.

My wife is 100% lucid so I can get away for an hour or two here and there. I have been offered respite assistance from two different agencies but have not taken either up. I need to learn how to take advantage of the support on offer.

In fact in need to learn to live a different life.

Again thanks!

In response to: Re: Hello for the first time.

hanamiSenior Contributor19 Sept 2023, 12:45 pm AEST

Re: Hello for the first time.

In my darkest days @Mucky it always helped to know I wasn't alone in the way I was feeling. Sadly, so many of us can relate. But the hope is that many of us come to feel better in time and there's hope for us all.

Take care

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