Psycosis

TW: Psychosis

In my head, there is a place where the blackness of darkness fills my mind. I scream in pain, knocking my head in fear because when life grows harder, I become weaker. I don’t want the world to see me like this. When all I feel is my existence on this planet should be happy with smiles. Instead, I show sadness to the people I see and now we know that Opposite Day has come to be.

I try to hide the worst parts of me because the devil screams and I feel that I must listen to him. I pay more than anyone else and its left up to me to deal with the fear. Why on this earth must I deal with this? The frustration of the noise gives me pain all the time. I lie awake each night in agony just listening to the fights that are all in my head.

Nobody in my life understands what I’m going through. It makes it harder to explain when all this is happening. I don’t know why things have changed when I’ve been stable for O so long. I need my life to get back on track but all this just makes that harder.

10 years of this and it’s still happening. I ask Why? When will it stop happening? I know that all I can do is wait it out again tonight but how long will it last an hour or 2 or perhaps more. Please don’t make me go through another full night of this with no sleep.