Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Any Such Thing As A Loser?

Unknown userMember23 Nov 2016, 3:58 pm AEDT

Any Such Thing As A Loser?

I have seen so many people who struggle with depression and other MI be called losers. You notice its the strong that usually go there. I think its cruel. How do we perform without psychological muscle or social support? And even during recovery the same people whisper "yeah, see how long ya last" How different it would be if people believed in you or, God forbid, take you underwing a bit 'till you are stronger.
Anyway, just wondered if anyone else struggles with this denegrating term? I see more of it in work tearooms and pub talk (behind peoples backs, its horrible because I know all too well its not always a choice). I have even been told to cut so called 'losers' out of my life & have nothing to do with them. Peer pressure is cruel too. Guess its a form if discrimination, stigma and bullying. How do you handle this?

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

espritSenior Contributor23 Nov 2016, 8:30 pm AEDT

Re: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

Hi. I guess it just human nature to want to be around people who are strong and uplifting. Is it evolutionary? What do animals do with their vulnerable. It's unfortunate that there is only negatives to MI I wish people could see the compassion empathy understanding creativity and other ways of thinking that often comes with a different brain one that struggles. I wish that was valued. I look at robin williams as an extreme example but look what he bought to the world. Worst thing is deep down I do feel like a loser myself for not coping sometimes.

In response to: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

Unknown userMember23 Nov 2016, 8:37 pm AEDT

Re: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

I think it's bs @Former-Member... on so many levels.

It's a shallow judgment made by shallow people, typically those who've never struggled with anything significant and assume that a person's public face is all there is to them. If you've lived your life on an electric bike, are you really stronger/faster/better than someone who's cycled manually? Nope, not at all

How do I deal? I don't know, I remind myself that I've lived through things they can't even imagine and if, God forbid, they ever get a personal glimpse of such things, they'll change their mind and that will be all the more painful for them because of where they've come from. By then I'm almost feeling sorry for them

In response to: Re: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Nov 2016, 8:49 pm AEDT

Re: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

I'll put my hand up for that one ... with irony.

I try and be a gracious loser.

One of my music teacher family brought the concept to my attention in a most cynical way .. and it really p%%d me off.

Maybe by that time, I had already shot enough goals in life ... I had also had a solid 6 years of neck hell ... and thought my "godmother" auntee was pretty callous & cruel and not at all spritual or caring to bring it up in my presence ...so I adopted the "loser" ironically, with disgust for the desperation of the those addicted to the win.

it got to the point where my poor daughter ... said I was no fun to play boardgames with .. as I was no challenge ... hmmm ... generally I am competitive .. by most standards .. but not competitive in personality .. there is a difference.

In response to: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

KurraSenior Contributor23 Nov 2016, 8:51 pm AEDT

Re: Any Such Thing As A Loser?

Hi @Former-Member @esprit @Former-Member
I just ignore this type of comment. It comes from ignorance of how much courage and strength is required to live MI.
People who make these comments obviously have not had to cope with living with an MI and I'm glad they've never had to experience what we do. 💕🎶

1 - 4 of 4