everything is wrong

i dont know what to do anymore i am hardly functioning at all i am not eating properly or showering or brushing my teeth or washing my hair my apartment is a mess i havent been able to make a meal for myself in months so i have been surviving off take away and snacks i have a 1500 word essay due in 3 days which i havent even started, i am not sleeping until 7-8am and then am sleeping all day and rinse and repeat and no matter what i do to try and reset my sleep nothing is working i am constantly exhausted i am honestly not ok but there is nothing i can do to fix any of this and am completely stuck.

and now to add on top of everything i keep getting scared that my meds are hurting me and that my doctors are planning things. like i honestly think that they are just giving me the meds to make me weak and also to stop me from talking to the spirits who have been trying to talk to me because the spirits have a plan for me that i am supposed to do and the doctors are trying to stop it from happening because they work for a god who is trying to hurt me and they want to keep me trapped here in this world and it is complicated but i am just i keep freaking out about it and idk what to do it is hard enough with all the other stuff that is going on and now this too and i just i feel completely lost and hopeless and i keep crying and i just want idk i just dont know what to do anymore.

sorry this has been so long and thanks to anyone who bothered reading idk what i want from posting i am just really lost at the moment.