Dealing with heartbreak

I'm hearing you that you feel lost @Rockdog

Living alone can be part of that. If you've had people around you all your life including family, work etc, to be suddenly removed from it all can be a big change. It's neither a good or bad change. It's just a change that needs getting used to.

For me, I live alone, but I have my sister's family next door so the kids are always here. I moved in with them about 2 years ago so I could help them while the kids were young.

However, prior to that, I lived on my own for many years. It was very quiet when I got home and it meant I had a lot of time to think. I miss the days of solitude, yet at the same time, mental health wise, it's not the most beneficial.

So yes, just keep going. You have come so far already.

Hi @tyme,

that is so true.Being by yourself gives you nothing but time to think. How did I end up here? Things are pretty bad at the moment, and the frustration gets a bit much sometimes. It is so nice to have others in our life. And positive things to keep us going. Being around family is good, that helps a lot.

Hi @tyme,

Hope you are going well. I have drifted off track. I don’t know if things will work out. It has been a long time now. Do you really think things will work out? I was thinking today about 5 hr brunch friend she dropped home. That is a long time, she probably had someone. I’m not feeling too hopeful at the moment. People say let it go but I can’t.

Hey @Rockdog ,

Are you focussing on all the negative aspects as opposed to the supporting evidence?

I've got a 4-5 hr lunch I'm going to this weekend... and yes, it's a work colleague... doesn't mean anything.

Our minds are geared for the negative. You gotta fight it.

Thanks @tyme,

Yeah focusing on the negative. She was on holidays so not work, but did say he was in a related field so maybe. Just when she said dropped him home. Why my head went there was it was right after I gave her my card My head has gone a bit crazy. I’m not sure why I decided to focus on that. You are right there was so much supporting evidence. I was just looking for the bad.

Hi @tyme,

You think things really are still moving towards it?

They are moving forward every living moment, hun @Rockdog

Don't miss it by looking back and grieving.

Hi @tyme

Hope you are well. I have just had a big step backwards. I had given up hope on everything and I’m not functioning too well at the moment. I ended up have a couple of nights stay in hospital. Then I lost my phone so I’m pretty upset about that. I am not feeling very good but hopefully can get back on track. I just kept thinking how I had her when I was going through this before and now I don’t. I feel really guilty for the setback. I have lost hope at the moment.

Hey @Rockdog ,

I'm so sorry to hear of this setback. I hear how hard it is. Unhelpful voices will always want to bring you down and keep you down.

The battle is to rise about these voices and better yourself.

You are the author of your own story. You can write this fairy tale to be what you want it to be. If you don't like how your story is going - change it.

Thanks @tyme,

i say that too myself every time I have a setback. I need to change it now, but when I can’t I just get so flat. Then I don’t see anything working out. When I think about her at the moment I just feel it is delusional of me. I guess it is so much easier to give up than work towards your ideal life. I will keep working but feel bad about my setback. I need hope to keep me going. Maybe these are just tests to overcome. You see things moving I’m the right direction so I will stick with that. Did you find the nasty times helped you get to where you are now?