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Fathers day and the feelings that entails

LostAngelSenior Contributor03 Sept 2023, 4:21 pm AEST

Fathers day and the feelings that entails

Father's Day, a day that used to be spent with Father although sadly not so miss him terribly Im not sure people fully understand the loss especially for daughters or anyone really ,it leaves a gap that simply cant be filled nor would I try to fill it ,This day every year brings emotion and reflection, he died a number of years ago and this year Ive really been feeling his absence yesterday I jumped in the car and drove of the anger and feelings of unfairness surrounding it The feelings are hard to describe about missing him its a kind of sadness that I cant put into to words and this year Ive chosen to be more private about my reflections of him, it also brings with it a sense of lonliness in fact yesterday at times I felt like a scared little girl who'd lost her way ,I miss him very much, I also feel a bit snubbed or outed by particular family members for not showing a sense of care towards myself and siblings and in saying that there are some who also truely understand our plight and I know where not the only ones missing a parent today wether thats their father or uncle or grandfather or close male mentor or friend theres many like us who have lost these special people in their lives ,but I also wont begrudge the people today who are so lucky to have their Fathers there that is if their the type of fathers that treat their family right and proper the way they should,so to anyone who still has their father my advice would be make as many memories ,phone calls and laughter with him as you can and shower him with hugs and appreciation, Today Ive chosen to listen to a few songs that remind me of him and quietly self reflect on memories ,I was going to go to his Gravesite today but that may be too much to do ,Ive already cried today and felt moody so think its best to maybe watch a movie and kind of get through today quietly , Im so thankfull for the family that does understand his absence and the impact overall that it has on us ,take care everyone ,just a quick line to say I am safe just emotional

3 replies

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In response to: Fathers day and the feelings that entails

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor03 Sept 2023, 6:12 pm AEST

Re: Fathers day and the feelings that entails

Hey, I completley understand i physically lost my dad when he passed 9 years ago but he was not there for me in many ways before that, Father’s Day is tough and always has been even when he was alive.
I put my focus into the 4 people around me and the dad I want to be not the dad I never had. But that’s taken me a very long time.

In response to: Re: Fathers day and the feelings that entails

AppleblossomSenior Contributor03 Sept 2023, 7:45 pm AEST

Re: Fathers day and the feelings that entails

Hey @LostAngel

Hearing you about grief, and feeling it on Father's Day. Sometimes now my grief for my father is a quiet thought or memory. I decided not to make any fuss of it this year, but I take each year as it comes. I have encouraged my kids re paying repsects to their dad, and also my son as a dad.

I know it is not easy for Fathers, and also for those of us who have lost them. Sad some of your family are not mindful. Most of my family was very dismissive, it was just something to berate us with, or ridicule as the poor rellies ... my dad died when I was 11.

Grief does play a part in our mental health.

Glad you are safe.

In response to: Re: Fathers day and the feelings that entails

Unknown userMember04 Sept 2023, 8:22 am AEST

Re: Fathers day and the feelings that entails

Hey @LostAngel I hear you about Father’s Day and mixed emotions.

my dad died when I was in my late 20’s but I lost the loving caring man I like, and try, to remember when I was about 12.

for many years Fathers Day saw me feeling that scared little girl missing her dad. Others years have been mix of quilt, shame, anger and pity for him. I used to put flowers on his grave but felt was out of obligation only some years. I now take each year as it comes and spend the day doing whatever I feel is right for me.

Took me a long time to fully understand the words

”we grieve not only for what happened but for all the good times that didn’t happen”

thinking of you and sending you hugs

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