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Something’s not right

Gravity

Gravity

is it common for anxiety sufferers to wake up in dread? To be pressed down in panic before your eyes even open?

This is what's been happening to me for a whole year long, now.

I saw an interesting visual the other day which kind of paints the picture: these alien machines, called 'world engines', had embedded themselves into the earth. Once initiated, they began to groan and slowly sucked the surroundings up off the ground before slamming them back down in a crumpled mess of increased gravity. And they did this over and over again...

Just about every day has been like this for me. Counselling isn't yet effective. Medication has little consequence. Socialising is inflammatory, and isolation is despairing.

My heart hurts.

18 replies

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In response to: Gravity

Re: Gravity

Hello @Kyle1. It's been a while since we chatted. I'm sorry to read that you are feeling so down. There's no advice I can give as I'm sure you've tried everything already. After a year, it is obvious that your medication and treatment is having no effect. Perhaps it's time to try a different kind, or see a different GP?

Have you got something to occupy your mind? Something cheerful? How are your children?

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

hello my friend @Historylover

I was just thinking I might try a different gp. At this hour on a Friday I may have slim chance to beat the weekend agony, but I will try.

I've spent the morning scrolling instagram... it's down right embarrassing. I've done laundry and showered and lit the fire.

How have you been? Has Spring arrived for you yet?

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

So nice to hear from you, @Kyle1. I'm truly sorry to hear that things are not so good for you at the moment. Actually, I've been toying with the idea of making a GP appointment myself, with the same problems re timing. My heart is telling me that all is not well this morning. I'm too tired to do much. It's a train and bus ride to the GP, and I just don't feel up to it.

Yes, Spring has sprung and the sun is shining. Did you see the moon over the last couple of nights?

I've never seen Instagram. Am I missing anything exciting?

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

yes @Historylover I have had an eye on the moon. It's been quite the crown jewel, hasn't it?

Well, instagram: I've found some comic relief there. Aswell as self help tidbits... Then have become sick of the go-nowhere monotony. I don't know why I should chastise the habit, though. My feelings about ANYTHING these days is its all go-nowhere monotony - so what's the difference?..

I did manage to secure a drs appointment this afternoon... I do hope you can get yours, and they be of help to us 🙏

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

Well, I hope you have some luck with a GP @Kyle1. I've just been looking at my prospects for an appointment and they all seem ridiculously booked into the future. I really crave a westerner. This area is thoroughly peopled of so many different ethnicities that it's beginning to feel alien. I truly can't imagine how Aboriginals feel! Of the 12 units here, 11 are occupied by Asians. I'm the only westerner.

Good luck at the GP. Yes, the moon was a delight.

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

Hey @Historylover

@Kyle1 I loved the moon last night as I was driving to music. Cheered me up.

"Socialising is inflammatory" ... is a great insight. Cos social issues really do get under our skin. Working on these so called boundaries is an uphill struggle for me.

But the basses behind me last night made me laugh, quietly taking the mickey out of the conductor ... within musical confines ... I had to laugh out loud and they thianked me politely at the end for having a good time.

So sometimes permeable boundaries help ... just not ALL the time ... weary sigh! Am settling for nobody loves me but am still alive and kicking and dont have to swallow BS. A lot of people have really poor social skills and consciences, mores the pity.

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

Hey yourself, @Appleblossom.

P.S. My keyboard is packed away. I love beautiful music...and that's just not what I was making. I think music making is not within my skill set and probably why I never took to it as a youngster.

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

@Historylover I guess it is there if you change your mind. A lady yesterday told me her daddy bought her a brand new piano, and she could not play it. You do what you need to do.

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

@Kyle1 I am not sure what kinds of music you appreciate.

Was watching this and thought there was resonance with your title "Gravity" and @Historylover mentioning the keyboard.

Bernstein is maybe too analytical for you to enjoy ... I dont know ... but thought I would throw it into the mix ... you dont have to watch it if you dont like.

Economy of motion... gravity plays its part

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFdky4L2LfI&t=1449s

In response to: Re: Gravity

Re: Gravity

thank you @Appleblossom

Yes, I have infact seen this before. And more synchronistic: I listened to this beautiful song earlier today!

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