Really in a bad way at the moment.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this at the moment @Jlol

You can always talk to us here

Thanks Snowie,

I just need help. Like proper help.

I feel like I'm really breaking apart here and getting so much worse.

I can't even stop to breath. If I'm not at work, I'm at home under her control.

I can't even take a sick day because she's at home.

I can't do a thing to releave the stress and pressure because I'm either working at my job or surviving at home.

@Jlol

https://www.orangedoor.vic.gov.au/

Hi @Jlol
Thank you so much for sharing about whats going on, holding lots of space for you 💛

How are going right now?

fluffylight x

Hey @Jlol that is so, so hard. I'm glad you're here, reaching out to us - we'll stick by you and support you as best we can.

Have you ever contacted 1800respect? They're super kind n caring and can potentially help you to work out what your options are.

Sitting with you 💜

Thanks @Jynx, yes I have contact 1800 Respect, only a couple of times.

The issue is that I can only do this in my lunch breaks and if they've got a long wait time (which they usually do) I cannot get through.

I just don't know what the future is. I'm so trapped and lonely and stressed constantly.

I honestly wish I could get hit by a car or get some illness that would send me to hospital. At least in hospital I could potentially get some rest away from home and work.

I feel so angry life became this way. The years tick away and I'm trapped not being able to be myself, let alone enjoy things in life. Everyday is a day lost.

Hi @fluffylight I'm not doing well. I'm not doing well.

I'm scared as hell.

It seems so crazy that there is no way to put the breaks on this. It's like I can see what's happening. I can see how it will affect me. I can see it will probably k*ll me. But there's nothing I can do about it and there are no hospitals or doctors or professionals that can help. That's what's so terrifying.

I feel if I had, something like say, cancer (god forbid) it would be easier. Go to hospital. Consult with experts. Get treatment. Get support from NGOs. Tell work you need time off. Recover. But with this... one 45min session with a shrink every 2 weeks (if you're lucky) is what's standing between you and d*ath? It just seems nuts!

Hi @Jlol

Sorry to hear how afraid you are right now. It's a horrid situation you're in. I emailed you yesterday but didn't receive a reply in regards to you letting us know that you're safe. I am very concerned for your wellbeing and our guidelines require us to check in with members if they express desire to harm themselves or wish harm up themselves as you've expressed. I'm sorry t this is happening but can you please confirm you are safe right now. I strongly recommend you seek crisis support and let them know how dire things are for you. As we've said SANE is not a crisis service so we really need you to have other supports in place that are better equipped to help you right now.

Again, I'm sorry to hear how tough things are. No one deserves to go through that, you deserve help and support.

Hanami

@hanami I am safe, for now I guess, but I did not express any desire to harm myself so I don't know where you're getting that idea from.

"I strongly recommend you seek crisis support and let them know how dire things are for you." From who? There is no one. I've been to hospital and they won't accept you. I used to call LifeLine, but they call emergency services on me. There's no none.

Side note: I really wish we - society, therapists, MH professionals, and NGOs (like this one) - would stop the practice of just referring the problem on and on and on. Whether it's intentional or not the experience of seeking help when having serious MH issues is one of constant referrals, often with them looping back on themselves. I get it - treating MH is hard. But I'm sick of every service either being a funnel back to the overwhelmed and understaffed public health service, or a tool for referring to yet another service.

@Jlol thanks for letting me know you're safe. I got the idea that you have a desire to harm yourself or harm to come to you from your posts. And as I said, if that is expressed in any way we must check the member is safe. It's our duty of care. That's why Lifeline escalate your calls to ES - for your safety. If you express to them that you are safe and are not considering harming yourself they won't need to. They do have crisis service training so they should be able to help you.

I understand your frustration at the mental health system. I feel there are gaps and services often fail and as you say, an hour or so every fortnight with a psychologist isn't adequate. I think I have asked you this before, but I don't think you responded. In order for us to provide the best support, it would be good for us know what that looks like for you. We can work out a support plan with you if you would like? At the moment I am not sure what the ideal support might look like for you.

I'm also thinking this might be of help to you? https://alt2su-nsw.net/want-some-crisis-contact-suggestions/

Hanami