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Lost

Bonniesbest1New Contributor19 Nov 2016, 8:04 pm AEDT

Lost

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum. I believe I have been suffering from depression for years after a very bad relationship with my ex. He was unfaithful to me and cheated on me with a friend and prostitutes and he was very manipulative. I felt crazy during those years that I was with him. I am now with someone who is so great to me and my two children from my previous relationship. We have a baby together now and he is 6 months old. I was really down during my pregnancy and scored high on the test thing that thy do during antenatal care. I saw a social worker but I wasn't comfortable with her so I just stopped answering her calls and withdrew from help. Now I am feeling extremely anxious and obsessive of my partner and my trust issues have gone beyond a joke. I check up his phone constantly to see where his is (he gave me his Apple ID so I could track him to help ease my mind) but then I will worry about what other women are where he is and research whether or not he is near a brothel. I can't help but think he will hurt me the way my ex did. I feel incredibly guilty for my older because I don't give them the attention they deserve I'm always so preoccupied with what's this worry and jealousy.. I have major body image issues since having my youngest. I went back to work two weeks ago and I didn't feel that I was ready and I'm even getting anxious at work and not really focusing. I can't focus on anything 😞

2 replies

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In response to: Lost

Unknown userMember19 Nov 2016, 11:12 pm AEDT

Re: Lost

Hi Bonniesbest1

I’m Mysticmountain, one of the moderators here on the forums. Firstly, welcome to the forums, I’m glad you found us to connect with others who may have experienced similar circumstances and can offer support and guidance.

It sounds like you went through a very emotionally difficult time with your ex partner and you describe how this experience has and continues to impact you in your current relationship. You seem to have shown a lot of insight in recognising your thought processes by talking with him about this and gaining his support to track his phone as a way to try and easy your mind.

It is fantastic to see that you have been able to keep an open dialog with your partner, at the same time I’m wondering if you have someone else that you can talk to? Having a young child and returning to work can be a very tiring and difficult time. You might find it helpful to use some relaxation techniques when you are at work to help refocus.

Once again welcome to the forums and I hope you continue to reach out for support through the forums

Mysticmountain

In response to: Lost

ElluSenior Contributor20 Nov 2016, 8:50 am AEDT

Re: Lost

Dear Bonniesbest1,

It sounds as if you have had an awful time with your ex-partner, and some of your feelings from your previous relationship are carrying over into your present relationship. When I read your post the first word which came into my head was "paranoia".I am not trying to imply that you are a bad person, just the opposite. You are struggling with demons from the past and they are affecting your feelings in the present.

If I were you, I would go to my GP and get a referral to see a psychologist. You don't have to be sick to see a psychologist - it is enormously liberating to talk to a trained professional and get to the bottom of why you are feeling the way you feel now. My second son started seeing a psychologist two years ago because he was having problems making the transition from adolesecence to manhood. The change in him was incredible. He is now a happy, well-adjusted young man with a good job and stacks of friends. Oh, and he has a girlfriend too.

Talking is a powerful tool - I don't want to sound as if I am interfering, but your level of paranoia is not normal, and I suggest the best way to get back on track is to talk to a professional. Think of it as a big, positive step you can take for yourself. Best wishes,

Ellu

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