New boss not supportive of mental health

Transitioning from one job to another is never easy @peps . Meeting new people, working in a new place, learning new procedures... it makes my head tired just thinking about it!

Would it help to give yourself some time and then re-assess how it goes for you? Maybe set yourself a review date?

I can relate to how you are feeling.

In the past, I've worked at some terrible work places. However, because I tend to not make change unless I absolutely have to, I stay at a place even if everyone else leaves. Some people say it's loyalty, some people say it's plain stupidity... however, each person does what works for them. You can take the roses without the thorns.

Go slow. Go easy on yourself and maybe reassess later.

Hi @tyme,

I am going to wait and see what happens. They mostly seem ok and I think part of the anxiety is the normal start a new job change stuff. I just feel strange because I left a good job with really supportive people because of the long commute and I was offered another job at the same time of this one and turned them down. It just feels like I may of made the wrong choice.

I've had a few hospital admissions that have lasted several weeks. Im thinking chances are high I will need to have time off or be in hospital and I don't know how that works if the manager is not supportive of mental health. I'm really anxious about being in trouble.

Since you got the job, maybe you can work with your psychologist to see how you can approach speaking to your boss? @peps . Rather than you being on edge about making a mistake, and your boss on edge waiting for you to make a mistake, maybe it's about putting it all on the table at the beginning? (NB. I've learnt to do this over time - it took a long time for me to get to this point).

e.g. you may say, "I know you may not be so confident in me because of my mental health, however, I am here to do my best. Please let me know if there is something I need to work on."

Something like this can show that you are transparent, open and honest about what's happening for you, and it shows you are approachable.

I know this is not easy to do - just something to think about.

Thanks for the advice @tyme I will try working with my psychologist on how I can deal with it all. I don't think I will be able to have a conversation with my general manger. The thought just feels me with anxiety. I think it's worse because she hasn't said anything to me since I've started working there even though I have seen her at work. I just get this feeling of I was their last choice and they wanted someone else. I know they had someone before me for a month but it didn't work out. I just don't feel welcomed. I'm not really sure how to explain it. I'm just uncomfortable.

Go easy on yourself and reassess as you go @peps . You know what's best for you. We are here as emotional support 🙂

@peps changing jobs is always challenging and often anxiety-inducing. As you’ve identified, a good portion of your feelings at the moment are completely normal.

The most important relationship in your day-to-day worklife is with your immediate manager and they have already backed you as their choice. That’s really promising, at this point it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because your immediate manager has made the call. They are supporting you and giving you a chance to succeed.

Mental health is a somewhat open discussion already so I don’t think you have to hide it, especially from your immediate manager. It’s always up to you, of course. What would the situation look like if your fears don’t come true? If you settle in and do well?

As for the GM, their opinion will change if you stay longer than a month. That’s what didn’t work out last time, and if you settle in and do well they will be happy. Of course, if the job really is a bad fit then you can always find something else. Always do what’s right for you.

HI @nervouswreck,

Thank you for your reply it has helped me feel a little better. I guess I'm just on edge because I had other job opportunities but chose this one. It's the first time I've had a boss that's openly been against mental health. I'm hoping to settle in a still don't feel comfortable after a week. It's all just adding to my anxiety.

Peps

@peps you’re welcome, glad it helped 🙂

We always make decisions based on limited information and we always make the best decision we can considering the circumstances. There must be a reason you picked this one, even if that reason is just a gut feeling. What’s done is done anyway, give it a shot and see how it turns out!

Putting a short time limit on settling in just feeds the cycle. You don’t have to settle in at all actually - that’s your feedback for whether the job is a good fit. I never settled into my last job and left it after a few months because it was a very poor fit.

Just to clarify, your boss is OK with mental health. Your boss’s boss has an issue with it, but if your boss is any good at their job they will be a human shield and protect you from the shenanigans that always happen above your pay grade! It’s good they gave you a heads-up, knowledge is power. The fact they hired you means you are their best option.