Passive aggressive partner

Hi @Passaggressive,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time, 30 years is a long relationship to end so badly. the things you listed anxiety, panic attachs, psychotic experiences all sound very overwhelming and it seems that you are feeling very alone in this. Do you have anyone to talk to?

have you considered seeing a counsellor to support you through such a horrible experience?

I was glad to see your post on the other thread too, i hope you feel comfortable to continue looking around and add anything

Hello @Passaggressive

maybe you'd like to chat to these members, @Heart & @Samara who both struggled with divorce and passive aggressive partners?

Best wishes

Good afternoon @Passaggressive,

I feel for what you are going throught as I have had a similar experience. No it is not plesant.

I want to stress to you that IT is NOT your fault. I too was brought to breaking point and yes I did, in the form of hurting myself. That is when I realised that the only person I was hurting was myself.

That was the turning point for me in that I decided there and then that I was not going to let anyone put me so far into the groung that I could not see.

I now stand up for what I believe in and I now give my point of view on situations.

This was a very hard thing for me to do as for 21 years I was told how to think, act, what I should be doing etc. The journey for me was not easy but worth it in the end.

Please find the strenght to stand up one step at a time and gain the controlof your life that your diserve. Anxiety is not a pleasant thing but there are tools you can learn to help you cope with them.

Are you seeking any help from a counselor or other? If not I would recommend you going to your GP and asking for a mental health plan. You will need a long consultation for the this. also ask for recommendations for counsellors. There is also the help lines of this forum as well as life line etc.

Please keep in contact with this forum as there are alot of people who can help and support, even if it is just to say hello, they are experiencing different parts of what you are going throught.

Your number one thing to do is to start taking care of your self.

Speak soon, Hugs to you.

thank you for your kind reply, i was seeing counsellor back in june july when it hit fan i was sleeping in car and over weeks lost so much weight, she cosirned suggested i go away to hare krishna farm which i did was, there 3 weeks was great place but was still in a fog, so headed home. was driving to long not enough sleep had sore eyes stoped at goulborn base hostpital i must of looked mental or somthing as they had phyc people chat with me, i didnt tell them to much but they said they like me to stay over night as didnt want me driving into ditch but i was put HD unit involeenteery for 12 days as they wanted me to give them someone to ring to confirm things were ok which i refused as didnt want to worry, it was hard not nowing when i get out, got back to home wife had ransacked home mainly took stuff for spite and desturbing and next morning i got restraining order that i was going to fiind where she lives and put her under survalence

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@Heart wrote:

Good afternoon @Passaggressive,

I feel for what you are going throught as I have had a similar experience. No it is not plesant.

I want to stress to you that IT is NOT your fault. I too was brought to breaking point and yes I did, in the form of hurting myself. That is when I realised that the only person I was hurting was myself.

That was the turning point for me in that I decided there and then that I was not going to let anyone put me so far into the groung that I could not see.

I now stand up for what I believe in and I now give my point of view on situations.

This was a very hard thing for me to do as for 21 years I was told how to think, act, what I should be doing etc. The journey for me was not easy but worth it in the end.

Please find the strenght to stand up one step at a time and gain the controlof your life that your diserve. Anxiety is not a pleasant thing but there are tools you can learn to help you cope with them.

Are you seeking any help from a counselor or other? If not I would recommend you going to your GP and asking for a mental health plan. You will need a long consultation for the this. also ask for recommendations for counsellors. There is also the help lines of this forum as well as life line etc.

Please keep in contact with this forum as there are alot of people who can help and support, even if it is just to say hello, they are experiencing different parts of what you are going throught.

Your number one thing to do is to start taking care of your self.

Speak soon, Hugs to you.

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thank you for your kind reply, i was seeing counsellor back in june july when it hit fan i was sleeping in car and over weeks lost so much weight, she cosirned suggested i go away to hare krishna farm which i did was, there 3 weeks was great place but was still in a fog, so headed home. was driving to long not enough sleep had sore eyes stoped at goulborn base hostpital i must of looked mental or somthing as they had phyc people chat with me, i didnt tell them to much but they said they like me to stay over night as didnt want me driving into ditch but i was put HD unit involeenteery for 12 days as they wanted me to give them someone to ring to confirm things were ok which i refused as didnt want to worry, it was hard not nowing when i get out, got back to home wife had ransacked home mainly took stuff for spite and desturbing and next morning i got restraining order that i was going to fiind where she lives and put her under survalence

I did not realise how passive aggressive my partner was in my marriage. Everything dysfunctional was also turned into my fault and my life & personality was seriously disturbed by it. Now I am better able to understand how passive aggression can creep up and be very destructive.

A divorce is hell to go through. So is being put in a HD unit.

I wish you the best in it all and can only say that I dont regret leaving my partner and that my life is much better now .. but it took a while and careful sifting through stuff and feelings.

Take care to look after yourself.

Hi @Passaggressive, How are you going today. You have been through heaps. Are you still seeing counsellor now, I feel it would be a good for you if you are not seeing one at the moment.

The ransacking and taking things out of spite is just that, spite. I know it is bs and hard to get over.

I am suggesting this as it has helped me over time but I use mindful techniques to help calm anxiety and stress. If you are not farmilar with it you can go to mindful.org. What other things are you doing to look after yourself? I know motivation can be hard. I am hoping you are not living in your car any more.

Take Care of you!

Hello @Passaggressive, How are you going today? come back and talk to us again and let us know how you are going.

Take care.

thank you all for msg ive seeeing counclor but only thing that help me will be end property settlement and that but i cant see light out tunnel s and family curt sily ness has startaed im so, its not that shes realy after anymore then would be fair its to keep me in her power longer my kids now are ? her actions now and seeing that she not a victim and that she being cruel, and itts costing her more money then me so make no sence, ive been worryed about my kids and wanted them to c the truth but now i wish they hadnt as i see there angwishh and there looks of hhurt when they see or hear whats happing

@Passaggressive, good that you are seeing a counsellor for your own problems. Are you finding that it is helping you at all?

You need to reassure your children that you love them and care for them. The one thing that I have learnt having a great stepson (now an adult) is that the kids will learn/realise what is going on. They may become anxious, annoyed, judgemental etc. This is when you need to reasure them that you love and care for them. Do not to say bad things about your ex to them or infront of them. They will question you about things that are going on.Explain in a nice caring way with out aggression and anger towards your ex (even though that may be what you are feeling). There are support networks (Relationship Australia) that may be able to help you and help you support your children as well.