Panic..

@tymereccomend reading hapinnes trap once a year - gave me direction and strategies 😁

Absolutely agreed @Cactus1 . I refer back to it quite often actually.

@CluelessCat

Thank you, I will look into it 😊

I didn't even see your post so that's why I'm getting back to you so late.

The more research I do the more I learn so coming on here has been very helpful indeed.

Panic attacks I have come to realise have been in my life longer than I realised going back to when I was only around 7 years old. I have alot i have to work through and figure out as I go so hearing others stories has made me feel less alone than I have been in recent times.

So true @Sunnoi . If you look in to the research, most people have had a panic attack in some form or another. You are certainly not alone in this.

@nervouswreck

Thank you for replying to me, I will definitely try the breathing exercises you have mentioned.

Going back and thinking about previous panic attacks, I generally think to myself how silly I must of looked or acted when I was in those moments and when I have tried to lean on family for support it hasn't been received well I guess because they don't understand it except for my mum which she very much understands in her own way but doesn't believe in actually getting any help for herself so I have had that mind set for a long time not to trust that there is help out there. It's actually refreshing to see that there's people out there that see things in a different way and not to be so closed off.

@tyme

Absolutely agree.

I feel like I have suffered way to long for way to long and it impacts pretty well every aspect of my life. Right now I'm trying to get to the reasoning behind them or how they started because I have pushed so many memories and feeling so deep down that I haven't been able to access them in a long time, but when lack of a better term shit hits the fan I cannot cope and I spiral so far down it takes a huge toll and might sound silly but I'm just now learning about learned behaviour and light bulbs go off in my head and I think ahhh that's where that comes into play, feelings and talking things out hasn't been a strong suit in my family so I'm now trying to un learn all of these things.

Unlearning takes time. I also had to unlearn a lot of maladaptive coping methods. It was regular therapy for a number of years. Over time, though, know that it is possible to retrain the brain to think in more helpful ways @Sunnoi

It IS possible.

@tyme

I'm hoping so🙏

Thank you for providing additional insights into your history. Whilst I would love to play armchair psychiatrist/psychologist, it isn’t helpful to you or myself, therefore, I would like to share a story with you.

Just one quick note before I get into the story. You mentioned doing research. I can recommend several books recommended to me by my mental health team that painted a clearer picture.

The body keeps the score, Bessel Van Der Kolk.

Reinventing your life, Jeffery E. Young and Janet S. Klosko.

Bouncing Back, Linda Graham.

These books are the ones that were recommended by my psychiatrist and psychologist. On the surface, I may have my things in order, but that would be far from the truth. I did poorly during my school years and struggled at University for many years. Without the help of many, many people such as close friends, doctors, professors, psychiatrist psychologist, and my dear tortoiseshell cat that is still with me for 11 years. Whilst researching has its benefits, carrying through various knowledge you learn might be more difficult in practice. Hence, seeking out a specialist such as a psychiatrist can provide you with more support or resources than seeing a psychologist. Albeit it is expensive, I believe without my psychiatrist, I would not have attained a Bachelor of Science degree. A close friend aided my journey back in 2016, but due to my unresolved trauma and the reactivity of my emotional mind, I was unable to burden maintain contact and instead, withdrew. There have been many diagnoses and one of them is emotion dysregulation for short. The longer version is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I failed to manage contact with friends or close friends. One reason is through my interactions with them only confused me internally. Not every journey requires eliminating people who are near and dear to you, but with the limited resources you have, difficult questions will come upon your journey and I no doubt, a part of you would like to maintain contact, relationship, or other benefits. The best advice I can part to you is, to do what is best for yourself and cause the least strain on your wellbeing but acknowledge the difficulties it places on yourself and others.

Through hindsight, the decisions I’ve made in all levels of difficulty, I do not regret those decisions. If that is the goal, then, it is enough. Additionally, there is one author I discovered this year name, Dr. Gabor Mate, and his book, “Realms of the Hungry Ghost”. This book provides real-life experiences of his patience that provide additional perspectives regarding maladaptive behaviour. Through “Bouncing Back”, you can acquire the neuroscience regarding the development of behaviours. Utilizing that knowledge and applying it through the stories of “Realms of the Hungry Ghost”, may paint the outcome of the developmental progress, if the maladaptive behaviours were not overcome.

Lastly, if there is anything you take from this interaction, know that I am one of the results of someone who decided to do what’s best for themselves. You probably have more questions, but I implore you to find out for yourself. The answers you seek will not be sufficient to quench that curiosity within yourself. As you may see in “Realms of Hungry Ghost”, only you can do that. If you chose to.