Sounds like she is in working poor category but I am sure she is grateful you are in her life. It can be tricky when one partner is breadwinner. Hope you have worked all those things out.
There are a lot of hoops to jump through for both DSP and NDIS. @down_not_out I applied for DSP when I was about 50. I have neck and psychosocial conditions. God only knows what the bloomin MH diagnosis is, even my current pdoc is wisely noncommittal about it. I was with NEAMI when they transferred their clients onto NDIS, so it was relatively straightforward for me at 59 as it was a bulk deal, I have mixed feelings about being on NDIS. Learning to make the most of it. I spoke with a new Support co-ordinator today who I seem to immediately 'click' with better than the last.
I used to work for Dept Social Security in another world in 1970 - 80s. So yeah I know about the hoops. Inside and out, tho they do change, and I have no idea now ... about system. Would talking to a Disability Advocate be worth it? Find about your rights and possible eligibility....
Yes, many of us realise that a lot of people have it harder, but still each person's journey and difficulties are worthy of concern rather than endless comparison. That is one good things about this website. There is a big range of people dealing with all sorts of issues, but somehow it has never seemed to fall into the competitive ... pitfalls ... somtimes evident in some unmoderated social situations.
I am not a big believer in meds but been on them for a long time. Low dose Antidepressants for over 30 years. Offered minimal ben zos but wary as, none now. On high doses of Antidep and Antipsychotics for about 4 years when I first joined the forum, both lower now, very slow tapers, as I am in a caring position for my 30 year old son, who has had a few curly experiences and I have to be a rock for him.