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I don’t understand how other people do it

I don’t understand how other people do it

I just, don’t know what to do anymore. I am struggling to adjust to the real world, I recently lost my job, which has only served to reconfirm how useless and pathetic I am. I tried so hard to meet their expectations but I just wasn’t good enough.

It feels like my anxiety and depression has won, and I’m sick of trying to fight it. I’m not in any danger to myself, I just don’t see a point in trying. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, I can’t seem to adapt to the real world.

I have recently discovered that I might be autistic, I’m working with my psychologist to figure that out. I don’t understand myself nor do I relate to the world at large.

Also, because I want to be honest and I’m sick of hiding, I want to mention that I am a child of suicide. It happened when I was young, so I never got to know my dad. It’s like grieving over a stranger, someone who should have been a key puzzle piece in your life. Because of this, I have always been hyper-aware of death, always looking out for it around the next corner. I was lucky in that I was too young to remember the event itself, but I figured out it was suicide when I was about 12. I know it’s heavy, but has anyone else been through a similar experience? I don’t mean to linger on the past, it’s just this event has cast a long shadow over my life and I don’t know how to ignore the darkness.

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading.

7 replies

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In response to: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Hi there @CherryBlossom28

Thank you for sharing your story, it sounds like things are tough right now. I don't think there is anything wrong with giving up fighting anxiety and depression. For many people fighting it never works. It's when they accept it and try to learn how to live with the symptoms is when they begin to feel better.

I hope some others who have had a similar experience can reach out and share their story. It really helps to share and others have to say about the experience.

Warmest wishes

Hanami

In response to: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Hello,

I'm glad that you are seeing someone who will help you with your journey.

Never give up.

In response to: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Hello @CherryBlossom28 and welcome to the forums.

I’m sorry you lost your job that must be tough. I am currently treading on egg shells with my employment.

That is very sad for you to lose your Dad at such a young age. I didn’t have that experience so I can’t really comment but I am here to support you.

Take care and lots of love.

In response to: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Hi @CherryBlossom28,

It can be really challenging to get an Autism diagnosis in adulthood, but for many people it can help to explain why you have found it so hard to it into fit in. Autism can make lots of things really difficult - including work. This can include the social communication aspects of understanding neurotypical (non-autistic) expectations. Please be easy on yourself as you discover what being Autistic means to you & start to work out some strategies to make your life easier.

Also there is a thing called Autistic burnout - which can occur when someone with Autism is putting so much effort into living their life with Autism that they get to a point of extreme exhaustion. It sounds like you might have got to this point. https://psychcentral.com/autism/autistic-burnout has more details.

It is great that your have a supportive psychologist to help you on the journey of discovery about yourself and what Autism means to you. It may be useful for you at some stage to connect with others with an Autism diagnosis - online or in person so you don't feel so alone.

In response to: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Welcome, @CherryBlossom28 , it's good to have you here 🙂

I'm sorry to hear about your childhood trauma and loss of your job recently, plus your anxiety and depression.

I'm glad to read that you have a psychologist. Do you have any other supports? Meds / trusted GP / friends / family?

An important forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

In response to: Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Hi @hanami, thank you for your reply. I appreciate your support and advice. Sometimes it’s just so hard to get in with things when you’re weighed down by the emotional toll your mental state.

But I would like to give an update: I recently got a diagnosis of ADHD and level 1 autism. It feels somewhat of relief to know that my struggles were not just because of me, but they had a cause. One that I can at least begin to treat (with regards to the ADHD).

I’m hoping that by treating my ADHD, my anxiety and depression might also come down a bit.

In response to: Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Re: I don’t understand how other people do it

Hey @CherryBlossom28 ,

I'm hearing you when you mentioned the relief you felt after getting a diagnosis. It's so true that a diagnosis can be so validating - even just to know that there's a name for what you are going through, and it's not just because of 'you'.

I certainly know I felt that sense of relief.

You may want to join our lovely ADHD-ers here: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

We look forward to seeing you around!

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