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Happier when I'm crazy

Happier when I'm crazy

I've only had my diagnosis of bipolar II for about 2 months. The doctors talked me into the meds. I'm taking them reluctantly. All my super self confidence & sense of fun seems to have vanished. Yes, I'm more level & focused & less agitated. But I feel boring & insecure. I was happier as I was. What do other people do? I feel like the trade off isn't worth it. 😳

7 replies

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In response to: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

What were some of the things that you did with your sense of fun?

In response to: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

Well, things that my friends & family considered to be a little reckless. I didn't get hurt & didn't hurt anyone.. but nevertheless I guess there was some risk involved. But I was happy! Wondering if stopping my meds will be worth it. I want to but I know people dont want me to. I don't feel like I can trust my own judgement anymore to make the decision for myself.

In response to: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

It sounds like you've got a free spirit, but sometimes question yourself in light of what other people say.

In response to: Re: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

Hi @Sarah1

Welcome to the forums 🙂

just wondering exactly what sort of things you did that your friends and family considered reckless?

i wonder what they were worried about may happen?

perhaps it would be worth asking the doctor "hypothetically" if you went off your meds what are the risks? would it make any difference to your health if you went off them for a bit and had another "happy" episode?

I ask this as i think that if you are having these concerns then it is better that you understand the Drs and your family/friends reasoning so then you can make a more informed descision

In response to: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

Yes I definately give weight to what people around me think, especially now that I'm being told by numerous people that I'm acting out of character. I understand the risks of my behaviour, but they seem unlikely. And I'm so miserable on these meds. Not depressed.. just flat. I might commit to another month on them since I haven't been on them that long. And see how I feel then. Thanks for the advice 😊 I will definitely let my drs know before stopping.

In response to: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

Its a win lose situation unfortunately pardon the pun but according to my family im an arsehole without medication. But i understand and can relate to you feeling the way you do with medication i feel exactly the same way, boring, im anti social, i isolate myself from others and spend alot of time alone in my bedroom and im constantly anxious. Going back 6 months ago when i was off my antipsychotic meds i was also having alot of fun and engaging in what others refer to as reckless or dangerous behaviour. I feel your pain 🙁 its an ongoing battle and sometimes it feels like your getting knowhere but stay positive hopefully things will get sorted soon.

In response to: Happier when I'm crazy

Re: Happier when I'm crazy

Hey Jacko it sounds like you understand exactly what I mean!! Its also hard not having the level of confidence, self esteem and sense of adventure I had when I was unmedicated. People are saying that I'm more level headed now which may be true but shit I miss the fun and highs! I'm just so freaking bored now haha I was "an asshole" too off th meds because I was very self focused and would lash out when I got into a rage. So I guess there are good things with being medicated... I'm more in control of my behaviour. But it certainly hasn't made me any happier with myself or my life! Thanks for posting so I know other people understand xx
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