Anxiety Depression this is so New

Hey @Yellow222 ,

I'm sorry to hear things are so tough for you.

It must be difficult to see that you are so far from the person you were and want to be.

I read that you have seen a psych. Have you seen a GP for a mental health care plan, or do you have a MH care plan already?

There may be a whole range of things causing this.

Is there anything you can think of which may have caused this? e.g. relationships, work, stress, anxiety, family?

Hi @tyme

I’ve seen a psychologist but I didn’t really mesh with her so I’m finding a new one got some contacts just trying to book a session.

the new contacts I’ve found are life coaches though.

I’ve seen my GP a few times initially this started as chest pains and was figuring that out from a medical perspective. When nothing was abnormal I did say I think this may be anxiety. It started with that now I’m really depressed. It’s only been a week.

I’ve spoken to family and friends and I get some relief in doing that but then I feel worse again.

I’ve been doing lots of things - busy job- building a house and planning my wedding. So many things to look forward to in my life but I can’t even pathom those things right now.

I just don’t know how I’m going to go on. I’ve been doing meditations, reading a self help book and some other things but nothing seems to help. I can’t stop being negative. It makes me so guilty that I don’t even have the energy to talk to my fiancé. He’s so worried about me. I’ve spoken to him about what’s going on but it’s more that I have nothing else to talk about and that kills me inside.

the constant “will this ever go away” “who am I” “Will I ever get back to where I was in life which was a really good place”.

evwrything is doom and gloom. How do I get out

Hi @Yellow222 - I call that constant thought spiral the “what if” machine. I have one too.

Keep looking for a good psych. They can be very helpful but finding one you like is hit and miss.

I have found Tomek Wyczesany on the Insight Timer app to have many great meditations. His one titled “Calming the Overactive Mind” is great. He has another I like called “Relief from Negative Thinking”. His style may not resonate with you, try others as well.

Another useful technique is practicing gratitude. You look for things in your day (or nice things people do for you) that you can appreciate and give heartfelt thanks, even if they are small things. It helps refocus your attention on positive things. Our evolutionary senses are optimised for paying attention to danger, so we need to consciously shift away from negative to positive.

Tried journaling? Just write about whatever happened today or what is on your mind. As much or as little as you want to. I have only just tried it after shrugging off the idea several times and I found it helpful to direct my focus. Even if you journal about the “what ifs”, writing is much slower than thinking and you can slow the machine down and examine each thought in more detail.

There’s a “School of Life” video on YouTube that says studies show 97% of what people worry about either doesn’t come true or is not as bad as they feared. Those are pretty great odds!

Hi @nervouswreck

Thankyou for your reply and the resources suggested!

do you find it gets easier though? I’m at a point right now where this is very new so every day I’m spending 80% of the day crying or in a panic attack. It’s really bad and I don’t think my body can actually cope in such high levels that I’m actually starting to depersonalise. (Thought I was just lightheaded) then I realised what this actually is.

During meditations I feel good but it’s very short lived.

Have you ever used the Smiling Mind App @Yellow222 ?

I find it teaches people to control their breathing and this is keep to managing or controlling a panic attack.

I used to hate doing it until I realise the medical data that backed it up. Supposedly, the more you practice it, the better you get so that when you really do need it, it actually works.

In the past, I used to whip out breathing exercises at the height of my anxiety, then ask why it didn't work. My psychologist then explained that you actually need to practice the skill instead of thinking it will work just as you need it.

@Yellow222 I have tried meditating on and off for a few years, using Headspace app for over 1 year, tried Calm briefly and a couple of others but none of them really clicked for me until I got lucky with Insight Timer. Everyone’s experience will be different.

If you feel good during meditations then that is a powerful signal that you are on the right path. Keep it up! I didn’t feel anything much for quite a long time, it’s only started to work for me recently.

When you find the right guide/technique and practice it consistently, yes it gets easier over time. When I practice it daily and rate my stress level out of 10 each day, the average level drops by a couple of points. The effect on your well-being just to drop by 2 or 3 points is way more than it sounds. That’s only doing short meditations too (5-10 mins, 2 or 3 times a day). Finishing a day with a single 20 minute session before bed is even more powerful.

When I’m at a crisis point I’ve had to do the same meditation 3 or 4 times in a row before feeling any relief. But because I have practiced, I know that it will produce results if I keep at it. That confidence is part of the effectiveness. The crisis doesn’t disappear, of course, but it becomes a little less unbearable. With more practice, I will do better.

Could light headedness/depersonalisation be starting from shallow or fast breathing? I notice when I’m stressed that I hold my breath a lot, depriving myself of oxygen. Hyperventilating is also bad. Using the 4-7-8 breathing technique makes you breathe deeply and slowly and is a proven way to signal your body to relax.