Mince

@Kyle1, I always do my best for people and if they imply that I have done something wrong, they are troublemaking. You're a good person. You can't do more than that. Just believe in yourself—no matter what.

Yes, but you may not like it. Here goes. This may seem it doesn't have anything to do relationships but in my experience it helps you be more positive within yourself.

I practice gratitude. No matter what comes my way, I do not judge it as bad or good. At least, not straight away. I simply say 'thank you God'. I have tried doing this without the 'God' factor, but for some reason (?) it just doesn't work as well. I don't really think it has anything to a patriarchal god, but rather in having faith in something greater than yourself. When you do that, it becomes easier to believe we are all connected rather than alone and your instincts and intuition become sharper. I know that Agnostics and Atheists don't believe in God so maybe if you identify with one of these groups, instead you could thank mother nature as a whole . We at least know that the early indigenous peoples, whether Aboriginal or Native American Indians always gave back in dance and song, celebrating and delivering their own form of gratitude.

@Kyle1, I've been thinking about your post, and I am wondering if our exchange had triggered your fall in mood. If so, I am very sorry. I am at my wit's end and perhaps had been less intuitive in my response. Your post had been very thoughtful and my response had simply been an expression of where I am at in my search for meaning and truth at the moment. I hope you're doing alright. Sending best wishes. ❤️

oh, bless you @Historylover - that you should give me a second thought.

But no: you did not give cause for my low mood. Please, rest assured.

I think I am wholly responsible for my current feeling... I sometimes speak without thinking. I allow myself to relax, get comfortable, and then somehow step on someone's toes. Then I listen when I'm told it's my 'fault', and adopt their hurt as my own. Toxic empathy.

I wasn't always this way, but I'm told 15 years with a covert narcissist will condition you so. ........

Thank you, my friend. I am grateful for your thoughts and our dialogues. 🧡

I'm so sorry for your '15 years with a covert narcissist' situation, @Kyle1. Mine is so similar. Recognition of my naivete and trust hurts. I hope the weekend brings you respite from your current mood. Perhaps some macarons will help?

@Kyle1

I believe good intentions matter, and we can only do our best. People can be very sensitive and there is no one perfect solution. A love your range of creative and helpful posts. Hope you can see that.

Building self esteem is a big one for me. I dont think I had a sense of an I for a very long time. Everything was overly connected and I still struggle with I start and stop and where others begin.

Taming the inner critic can be helpful, but mostly for me I work with meditating and trying to achieve calm in a stormy world, then sometimes, run like the wind. No easy answers here, but take heart.