[Working from] home at last.

Finally.

I am able to start working from home.

I told my brother and sister that I had a lot to drink the other day. They were disappointed, but they understood that it happens.

I told my sister, because I had been doing some thinking about it before then, that as much as I like the idea of working in the office, I […] hate the city. I knew it was going to be a potential issue before I got the job. There are pubs and bars everywhere, full of people in business gear drinking during the day. It’s the worst place to be when you’re trying to stop. My baby niece also lives with us on weekdays, but I never see her until Saturday. I said that I need to work from home as much as possible.

She said that was a good idea, to take the temptation out of it. She said that I need to tell my psychologist… and go to an AA meeting. I sort of balked at that. I thought I would be able to drink in moderation or control my drinking, rather than going 100% sober. She said that maybe I can drink in moderation in a few years from now, but for quite a while, I need to be nowhere near alcohol. Until I’m a bit stronger in being able to resist it. I’ll have to talk to my psychologist first, but I appreciate the idea.

It’s scary being drunk, even just a little drunk, because I know that at any moment, a switch might flip in my brain, and I will go off the rails with it. I drank so much the other day that when I checked my transaction history, I vaguely remember going to these places, but I don’t remember what I ordered. And I don’t remember going to McDonald’s AT ALL. It makes you very vulnerable. I could have been hit by a car. Someone could have stolen from me, knowing how much of a state I was in. I mean it’s kind of lovely that no-one did take advantage of me, but still.

I have considered telling my manager that I want to work from home as much as possible, for a mental health reason.

Maybe I can ask my psychologist to write me a note supporting that? Because they say that you should come in three days a week. They’re having a party for a senior member of the organisation, since she came back into a new role. My centre manager said that we are expected to be there. She said “I would recommend [literally in bold] that you attend. If you can’t make it, please send me a private message with a reason”… I didn’t do that 😕.

I mean “I don’t want to” is not a reason LOL, but I don’t want to. I’ve already told my family that I was going to start working from home. My brother said it would be unprofessional of me not to go for that one day, so I work from home starting Friday, I guess LOL.

Hopefully this does help, and gets me to start drinking more coffee and less alcohol.