Hi Cholekat,
That sound terrible, I really feel for you while you are not going so great. I agree with Cherybomb's comments though, remember feelings do pass.
Try to focus on how you will feel when this down-moment passes. Think of it like "seasons". Right now you are in "winter" (dark, depressing) but guess what? "Spring" is just around the corner!! Spring is where everything comes back to life, all the trees and flowers bloom again, it's like a new creation! Focus on that. Spring is what's just around the corner for you....and it's really close by!!
Have you ever had a cold or flu, and when you get better you feel fantastic? Try and take that point of view and think how good you will feel when this season passes!!
You may also want to try something like this - when I feel down, depressed, anxious, or just plain negative, I sit down, close my eyes. I picture in my mind I am in a room facing an open window.The window faces right onto the ocean. What I do is mentally get all my "bad" feelings and roll them up into a ball, then when I have them all in the ball, I "push" the ball through the window so it falls into the ocean and just gets swept away into the sea, all gone. Then I mentally lock the window with a key so the ball can't get blown back in again.
I really do believe that the fact that you're on these forums, being honest and looking to others for help and support is such a great sign that you are a really strong person. From reading your posts, I honestly believe you to be a wonderful person that has every right to be happy. Just look at what you did for your kids in the midst of all of this. That's pretty awesome. I'm actually really impressed! I am sure everyone else on this forum is too.
I remember you said you like dancing. Do some of that....play a song and dance along to it while you think of how great you are. And how great we all think you are too.
Let us know how you're doing and please take care.
Hobbit,
