We aren’t that special

Hi @Mikismyname , to an extent I agree with you - not many of us are "great". There will always be many, many people more fortunate, more kind, more talented, better looking, richer, more famous, etc.

But on the other hand, I do think we are all unique - there will never be another you, or me. I think that's worth celebrating.

I do agree that we can't achieve whatever we set our mind to - I think that is "toxic positivity".

You wrote "you were born into this world to exist...to be a statistic"...I think we can achieve a degree of happiness and contentment in this world, more than just existing. I found some contentment when I accepted all my 6 MIs (mental illnesses) and worked to accommodate them into my life instead of fighting them and being ashamed of them. (Just an example of what I meant, not commenting on anyone else's journey)

It sounds like you're mourning the loss of your dreams...I'm sorry to hear 😞 It's an awful place to be. Do you have people you can talk to and who can support you?

We are human beings, not human doings. Indigenous cultures believe we have value just by existing, we don’t need to do anything to have value. Living in harmony with nature is enough.

Something that I noticed when studying art, all 20 students would be painting the same subject, but no two paintings were even slightly alike. No one does you better than you.

it does seem way too apparent, doesn't it: the hype that extends from the humanistic world view is too sensational to be believed.

Way back in the beginning of time there was a crafty serpent who made eve and adam buy into that notion. And they gave up what they already had for the promise of becoming gods!

Something that comes to mind @Mikismyname as I read your post is; what if simply being born is the miracle? What if existing, and the rest of existence, is already the special thing? ... as the song goes: "you'll be fine at the end of the line. All that's gold doesn't shine"

thank you for sharing @Mikismyname You've given me something to ponder

Hello @Mikismyname I think this interesting discussion by Caroline Myss on narcissism in our culture dovetails what you have said about specialness and the mantra of "being destined for something great". I think you are right not feeding into the culture. But it seems to be quite pervasive and has seeped into our sense of self unchecked. Anyway I thought I would pass along Caroline's insights. She is known as a psychic intuitive and part of her work has involved the examination of archetypes in our culture.

https://www.myss.com/the-narcissist/

HI @Mikismyname

I'm sorry your dreams have turned to ashes - many of us have been there - and it's not a good place to be - still - it doesn't need to be permanent - which is good.

Who says what is great? Who says what is special? Some people gain fame through achievements - both my grandfathers were - are - war heroes - however - few people remember them now - except I do - they are long gone now but they did fight in the British Expeditionary Forces (BEF) in The Great War and I am proud of that. They were both decorated too.

Poets, artists, authors, actors - anyone with a recognized skill who is considered by many may be considered great - I wonder though - who decides that. It's a strange thing as I have read a great deal in my life and often wonder who makes up those rules.

I think a lot of people gain fame through connections or just being noticed. I never sought popularity - I didn't need it - I wasn't pushed to the outside either - I guess from childhood on I felt okay with everyone in my family except my mother and maybe I was bright and a good athlete - I wanted to learn and I did. But special? My Dad and my grandparents and uncles obviously thought I was - honestly - I didn't think about it until I was in Year 10 and an incident in the classroom made me look again at the class-captain and considered popularity for the first time - deciding it wasn't my "thing" - I didn't seek anything about being great either. Time passes though.

Time and circumstances and decisions determined that I had the chance to do something great and it was hard yards - I often did not know where this was leading. More time passed and then it was all a disaster - and it's a long time ago now - but it was a great thing I did - and I did not get any accolades - no recognition - no standing ovation - and it did change things for a lot of young people and they don't even know.

And that's all right - that's enough - that was the chance I had to be special - it cost me a lot and I would not change anything.

So - after all that - back to you - you don't think you are special - you are unique - and your life isn't over yet so - you have no idea of your destiny - you don't have to have other people care - it's what you know.

I have to quote my source for this comment - Tom Cruise says this in The Last Samurai.

I think a man does what he can until his destiny reveals itself.

And I agree - we can only live our lives with what we have and take chances and make changes when appropriate. So you don't know yet - even so - whatever happens may not be - probably won't be - earth-shattering - you will know though and you will care.

I do hear you - you feel very ordinary - and all feelings are valid even if they are not sound. You will most likely not get a standing ovation - but there will be something.

And even so - just existing has its products - everything we do or don't do - say or not say - be or not be - changes the human experience for someone else - whether we know it or not. Sometimes just listening to someone while waiting in a queue - or in an airport, on a station, whatever - that meeting might be important beyond your knowledge to someone else.

Feel ordinary if you so choose - and that is fine - sometimes your ordinariness is a pure blessing to someone else.

I do hear you though - it's bleak for you right now - you feel disillusioned - hopefully this will pass. I believe it took courage to write your feelings here - and oddly - today - I have blessed just thinking about what you wrote when I read it this morning and I am glad I found your post this evening and could reply

You just never know

My love and thanks

Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member

I agree with your comments about the archetypes of our culture - how could I have enjoyed reading what I have had I not - it's an exciting study.

It was part of one of my university subjects to study the archetypical structure of the traveller. It covered all sorts of journeys - maybe not science fiction at that time but maybe now. I find I did look long and hard and have done all the years since then and realised the hardest and loneliest journey we make is the inward journey - where no one has gone before - for it is our journey alone.

The idea of being destined for something great is invasive - as I wrote in the above message - who decides what is great? Stories have a "great" hero - someone who saves the day for the greater good - someone who steps beyond themselves - and our literature is full of it.

But when it comes to pure courage sometimes it is the day-to-day ordinariness of life that is the hardest challenge - unnoticed often - perhaps even degraded.

I think a lot of really great things are not noticed - and that doesn't change the nature of the quality of it at all

Perhaps there is an archetype no one has ever written about - the archetype of the ordinary - I will have to think about that. And I will read your link later - I had a glance but put it aside for now

Thanks for your comments

Owlunar

Hi @Kyle1

I read a lot of what your write - it's is thought provoking for me. I have had a lot to deal with over the last few months and haven't felt up to posting much - but tonight - yes - I am.

I really love your biblical input into the Fall - oh yes - I wrote my minor thesis on it actually - Paradise Lost - not the bibical account - not just that Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil but all the buck passing that went on - the serpent convinced Eve and what God questioned Adam he blamed "the woman you gave me" and Eve was blaming the serpent.

But yes - whatever the outcome they wanted to know what God knew and be like him - being great - and forever a warning that is continued through scripture about trying to be great - like Nimrod -

But yes - people don't know or if they know - they might not heed the warnings -

And what is great anyway - who says what is great?

But then - but then - what would have happened had Adam and Eve not eaten the fruit? Considering global warming - etc. - as people try to destroy our planet - it's hard to frame my thought - someone would most likely have eaten the fruit.

I love it that you wrote your comment

Owlunar

thank you, @Owlunar

I appreciate you. 🙏

(Perhaps one day we might talk more about 'the fall'... it is interesting to consider your point: if eve and adam didn't do it, someone was surely bound to...)

Warm regards.