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Something’s not right

Each time I see her

Misunderstood88Senior Contributor

Each time I see her

I don't know how to process the fact that my mum is suffering Dementia and that each time I see her, a price of her is gone... It's like she's physically alive but mentally dead... It feels like a piece of me dies with her... Is it bad to say that is rather have her dead than go thru this hell that she's living in... I don't know how to process all these and my coping mechanisms about this isn't the best way... I don't want to see her like this... Id rather be dead than see her suffer... The SH urge and thoughts are racing to a nearly unbearable feeling... How can I move past this feeling and urges? How do I ride this wave for as long as I could?

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In response to: Each time I see her

PaperdaisySenior Contributor

Re: Each time I see her

Hi @Misunderstood88 It's so hard to see our parents change from being our care givers into something else. I'm hearing how distressing it is for you and I'm sorry you're going through this. The prolonged grieving that comes with watching a parent deteriorate is very hard and I've been there.

I'm wondering if you could reach out to Dementia Australia for some support?

I'm hearing how difficult it is for you to move past urges right now. I would encourage you to reach out to crisis support if things escalate for you. Is there anything that helps you in this moment? TIPP skills?

We're here for you.

In response to: Each time I see her

BowSenior Contributor

Re: Each time I see her

I know it’s not the same @Misunderstood88 but I am watching my step dad disappear with each day that passes. He is dying of COPD (lung disease) and is at end stage and wants to die at home. It’s so incredibly hard to watch someone that we love slowly disappear into someone we don’t recognise. You grieve the whole time and it’s such a long and drawn out process.
And you try to be the strong person to support those around you, but when you have your own health conditions (mental health) it’s so hard! I struggle daily. I constantly battle with feelings of being so selfish. And wish that I could trade places with him…. At least I want to die.

In response to: Re: Each time I see her

tymeModerator

Re: Each time I see her

I'm sorry to hear @Misunderstood88 . It must be so hard to sit with these thoughts.

Hugs @Bow @Misunderstood88

In response to: Each time I see her

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor

Re: Each time I see her

Hi @Misunderstood88 I can’t say I completley understand but i wanted to say i am here for you, i have also watched my own mums declining health (mental and physical) and it can be so hard
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