Thankyou friend, @MDT
This takes courage in my eyes. I have found that not everyone is receptive, or interested in entering into the depths of thought you showed. Allowed yourself. For me, this would take courage. To be responded to with out care, well, that would hurt me. I would feel I have taken the time to ' pour my soul, my heart out' & the world thought it was not, I was not of value. I think it's good to be ourselves, our core selves, in moments. Say it how it is - as it, I, we, are worth this. It has a purpose too, of 'testing the waters'. The responses I get, it lets me know, exactly where I am, rather than appeasing others perceived expectations of me. And, ... Many ( the majority in my experience) simply do not have the skills, or desire, or structure, to consider, or be involved in philosophising, & questioning, contemplating. To me, this seems surprising. I am learning we are all different, & that is perfectly ok.
This 'meaning of life' it makes me wonder, is it a facet of coping mechanisms?
I'm unsure if I'm projecting my own melancholy, tho, reading your post, I heard a beautiful sadness.
I recently accepted, examined the concept that Love can be sad. There is a gentle peace in sad.
It is not depression. I think it looks the same from the outside. I think the colleagues you speak of, can interpret this state, of vulnerability, as an 'elephant in the room'. It can make people feel extremely uncomfortable.
What is 'like', What is 'vulnerability'? Words we generally accept we understand the definition of, though, on further contemplation .. I discovered, vulnerability is indeed the foundation of strength.
I like your question. Lots. I'm going to consider it.
I like tea. I dislike Vegemite. I ate a teaspoon of Vegemite the other day. Face scrunched up, flavour overpowering my tastebuds. I questioned 'do I dislike this?'
I like how you brought us back to the practicalities.
That, there is a 'force' or element within the life you designed for yourself, (within defined limitations?) .. And this element has within it, a potential to prevent you from the most meaningful, or healthy decision of being with family & your dad's 60 th birthday celebration - ..... how can that be?
Having the worry of whether you can attend, is already an unnecessary burden.
Life is unfair.
My heart cries too. For the pain & suffering in this world. For people who existed 100 years ago, for those not yet to be born.
In another world. I don't care. All, I want is my own moments of enjoyment. The world doesn't exist. These moments are pure bliss. I want them all the time. I want more. I want to discover more ways to access them. I want all the keys!!
I feel like lately, things have definately gotten tougher, from where we were a few weeks ago. When you wrote about 'the man'.
How can I best describe it? I feel like, now, I'm having to fight harder. I was not anticipating. Getting here - it took more than all myself (I know this for a fact, because, I have watched myself be carried) I think I was expecting, a kind of plateau. And there is. But, now - as I collect myself, I'm aware of an intensity circling.
Hmm, I think I have now discovered, at least one possible catalyst for why this is occurring. This battle is now, no longer about surviving.
Interesting.
Back to reality now ...
In everything you wrote.....
'I have love'
Thankyou @MDT
Hello @Former-Member @TAB @Appleblossom @hanami @Shaz51
and everyone.
Thanks for reminding me about chakras @Former-Member 100 percent, know this important. And can, of course feel my own chakras, & the benefits. I don't know anywhere enough theory. I know the colours! Thanks for adding pep!
Thankyou again for book idea @Appleblossom Im beginning to like my recent art. It's not 'impressive'. I have made other ones, that people, myself included, instantly impressed by. This one is very raw. Yep, raw egg, me thinks😊
I don't like posting this, but I think it gives good context.
I am so proud of this piece. That I could create something so beautiful. It's my most sacred piece. I don't show many people. I know where I was in my head at that time, & had enough experience to know what would give greatest impact, most effective. 20 or 30 creations before this, enabled me to make this one.
The 'egg' Im starting to love it - because it is me.
