I feel ANYTHING but young. (TW: death and one mention of suicide).

I’ve got an EAP appointment on Monday. I’m looking forward to it. It’s just around the corner from the office, and I am going to have to go there at 9:00AM, because they didn’t have any better times available.

I haven’t told my manager yet that I’m going to have to be an hour late. I mean it’s for an EAP, so it’s very literally part of the job.

Have you spoken to your manager about your treatment commitments when you’re new in a job and how do you know how much detail to go into, in that conversation?

Finally, a post where I have a clear question 😉.

As part of my role the other day, I had to read the mail that came into the business and label it. I had to read MANY death certificates and wills that day.

I remember one particular client who handed in POA documentation for her mother who recently was diagnosed with dementia. They even attached the discharge form from the hospital. A couple of people had objects written into their will, like “the gold nugget she gave me for my anniversary” or an “emerald and diamond wedding ring” (not real examples).

I’ll be honest, on the bus into work, I’ve been a little upset thinking about that aspect of the job. I remember a documentary with a brand new cop dealing with her first deceased, a suicide. She was in the morgue afterwards. She pretended to be fine but her partner and the Sergeant took her outside and she broke down. She went back inside after talking to her colleagues and another cop said “first one, was it?”

When I was applying for jobs, I knew I didn’t want to go into life insurance straight away, but I accidentally did, because this company’s financial product comes with life insurance. I’m 1,000% sure you get used to it. I asked one of the claims guys, just super casually, and he said you get used to it. I haven’t talked about struggling with that, and my managers haven’t asked. I mean it is very distant in my role anyway. Like working in claims or at a life insurance company where this is the only thing they deal with, would be a lot harder. But even still, it hurt a little bit.

This is the thing, though. Death, illness, sadness… it’s dark, but it’s real life.

Can you imagine being young and working in a nursing home? Many of you probably can, you’ve probably BEEN young and working in nursing homes! If reading a death certificate is tough for them, they’re in for a long day. They’re much stronger than I am right now.

I mean one of my favourite books is The Spare Room by Helen Garner, which talks about a woman who cares for someone close to her who has cancer. It’s dark, but it’s ultimately a very beautiful story.

It’s weird to go from reading that to going out and looking at people in the prime of their lives, who seem as if they think they’re invincible. But then you turn around and think “I’m only young for so long, I should be in the prime of my life”.

I’m 28, and I honestly feel closer to the darker side of life than I do to the people my age who think they’re invincible. And now I’m working, dealing with death for at least some part of eight hours a day.

I’ve DEFINITELY lost the point of this thread, but I’d just like your thoughts on it. And I would like to hear your thoughts on speaking to work about your mental health condition.