Angela73New Contributor
Derealization / Depression
Hi all,
Firstly, it feels good just to know there’s finally a space I can share safely in.
I have a teenage daughter who, in some ways, is like a lot of other teens out there, but in other ways, she is not.
I never understood her when she was younger and that was a major disservice to her. However, I’ve learned some skills along the way and I think I’m a bit better at understanding and supporting her now.
So my daughter engaged in self-harm almost consistently for about 2 years. That stopped at the end of last year. During those 2 years, we sought the help of therapists until we found the right one for my daughter. She was also seeing the school guidance counsellor for a while.
She’s been doing pretty well this year - until recently. Communication isn’t her strong point but she confided in me recently that she sometimes doesn’t feel like she is real, or that things around her are real. After listening and holding space, I asked her if it’s something she’d like to see her old therapist about. She said No.
I’ve never heard of anyone having her experience of not feeling real but have googled and found some basic info on depersonalisation /derealization.
I guess I just need to put all of this somewhere (ie. here), because I’m unsure how to help her if she doesn’t want to see a therapist. I also am beginning to worry that her mental health struggles could be a lifelong thing for her, and/or that there’s an underlying, undiagnosed, untreated condition.
I have felt almost completely inadequate in the last couple of years and the professional help we did receive felt like a lifeline. I fear that my own mental health may suffer if we can’t engaged professional help, yet I understand the need to respect her wishes at this time of not seeing anyone.
There’s a lot of pressure on her right now from the school to pick a career and make subject choices for her senior years, but that just is not our priority at home… the future will fall into place if we can take care of the present. The priority really is to ease the pressure, because she’s dealing with something that her peers just aren’t going through. It’s a whole other world.
Anyway… thanks for reading. If anyone has experience in caring for someone who doesn’t feel real at times, or simply if you are a parent of a teen who persistently struggles with their mental health, I’d love some words, any words you wish to share.
Thanks.
