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Not coping at all.

Not coping at all.

Morning.

So, husband has been out of hospital on a community treatment order for a week. He started Paliperidone injections 3 weeks ago (roughly).

I had a good conversation with his adult son last night who confirmed that while he has gone back to work, his mania has not improved and I am still the 'villain' in this story.

At 9pm last night I got a really casual, chatty email from husband letting me know that he has no intention of coming back to our relationship, or our home.

Said he doesn't want to discuss the emotional aspects, what happened etc until October because if he talks to me now he'll get angry.

Etc etc.

I responded quite calmly and suggested that he wait a few more weeks before making life changing choices, and that I didn't deserve to be broken up with via email and addressed a couple of other points he had raised.

Then, he called me.

His speech was slurred. He basically repeated what the email said but acknowledged that he doesn't really remember what happened, he's traumatized by the hospital experience, didn't want us to end badly hence the email and after that was just talking in circles. He very clearly does not sound ok.

This has, of course, completely devestated me all over again.

It's such crap.

I will give him more time for meds to kick in but I'm just not sure how much longer I can cope with this.

🙏

32 replies

11 - 20 of 32

In response to: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hi @Shaz51

I am only speaking for me

@Reggiethecat and @YankeeBob may want the tagging.

I am just saying not me please.

Thank you

In response to: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@Shaz51 yes pls 👍

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

hi @Reggiethecat just wondering how your going?

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@outlander thanks for checking in.

I'm really not ok at all.

Husband is still very unwell (according to his brother).

His father passed away last Monday and the funeral is this coming Monday.

I asked him to meet with me before the funeral because we haven't seen each other for over 40 days now.

I got a pretty gross text reply at 4:30 am, declining my request.

A 4:30 am text means he's not sleeping properly. He dumped me via email last week because in his words 'he has to be alone so he doesn't get f$cked over' so he's still quite paranoid.

I'm so sad. I cry so much every day.

I'm trying so hard to remember that he's unwell and grieving.

But I'm really not doing great. X

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

hi @Reggiethecat that is really hard for you, im sorry your going through that.
it sounds like he is also struggling but its not really an excuse to take it out on you. perhaps he will come around with some time

Do you have any supports in place? you shouldnt have to go through this alone

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Ohhh @Reggiethecat , sending you hugs and sitting with you my friend ❤️

Like @outlander , have you any support for yourself

@Former-Member , @YankeeBob , @tyme

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@outlander his dad's failing health was a large trigger for this episode. So yes, he's really struggling to process.

The last funeral I attended was my own father's, who had bipolar. I'm all kinds of triggered.

I'm seeing a psychologist once a week and have a peer support worker and have been attending the MHF bipolar spouse support group....

In getting the person I love most in the world help, I have (for now anyway) lost him.

It's just not fair.

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

it doesnt seem fair at all @Reggiethecat im sorry all this is happening.
death in any case and takes time to grieve. i am sorry about your dad, try not to rush the process of grieving. there is no right or wrong way to do so.
im glad that you do have some offline supports and you can talk to us here anytime you need as well.
im not that good with relationships myself so i apologise for not having much advice in that regard but im hear listening to anything you need to talk about though

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@Shaz51 thanks 🙏♥️

For whatever reason I just can't stop crying today. It's all crept up with me I think.

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@outlander thanks

I really do appreciate it.

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