FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

Not coping at all.

Not coping at all.

Morning.

So, husband has been out of hospital on a community treatment order for a week. He started Paliperidone injections 3 weeks ago (roughly).

I had a good conversation with his adult son last night who confirmed that while he has gone back to work, his mania has not improved and I am still the 'villain' in this story.

At 9pm last night I got a really casual, chatty email from husband letting me know that he has no intention of coming back to our relationship, or our home.

Said he doesn't want to discuss the emotional aspects, what happened etc until October because if he talks to me now he'll get angry.

Etc etc.

I responded quite calmly and suggested that he wait a few more weeks before making life changing choices, and that I didn't deserve to be broken up with via email and addressed a couple of other points he had raised.

Then, he called me.

His speech was slurred. He basically repeated what the email said but acknowledged that he doesn't really remember what happened, he's traumatized by the hospital experience, didn't want us to end badly hence the email and after that was just talking in circles. He very clearly does not sound ok.

This has, of course, completely devestated me all over again.

It's such crap.

I will give him more time for meds to kick in but I'm just not sure how much longer I can cope with this.

🙏

32 replies

1 - 10 of 32
12...4

In response to: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

I have just joined SANE. My circumstances are I have a 41 year old son who is bipolar.

His track record with women is tragic. Often he calls me up and has asked me to move them out of his home to mine.

I have learned from experience with an alcoholic brother that I need to talk to others in confidence about how the crazy unpredictable behaviours and denials harm myself.

Let me know if I can help in any way further.

YB

In response to: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hi @Reggiethecat

We have spoken before. If you tire of me, let me know

This is lived experience forum.

I feel you are expecting your husbands illogical thoughts to be logical too quickly

He is asking for space. Does he mean that or not? It appears he does.

He has a brother and son so does not sound destitute.

Calm replies may still upset hi,.

Sorry to say this.

When we are in situations, whatever people say or ask is often wrong.

I think you are taking it too personal and as hard as it is, look at the bright side. He has support.

It may need time. Focus on keeping the house going.

From my experience it may take him 2, weeks, 6 months, 12 months whatever to balance out.

You may have to learn how you can function yourself for now, keeping things ready for his return.

I feel for you. It is a very hard and sad situation.

I do enjoy reading your posts. Please keep posting. Your intentions are excellent, but he does not see that at the moment. Don't give up. Stay with it.

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@Former-Member I'm not tiring of your replies at all 🙏

Thanks for taking the time to reach out.

I understand exactly what you're saying and I agree.... Space and time is what's needed here.

I'm personally just struggling with the immense amount of change that's happened in 37 days.

I know it's due to him being mentally unwell, it's hard for my heart to know that - if that makes sense?

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hi @Reggiethecat

I am with you.

Now I have a task for you to take your mind off things

And I know Everyone on this forum would like my request if you succeed.

I want you to design the "Magic Pill" that we are all seeking that fixes all suffering, mental health issues, be it depression, anxiety, patience, frustration, dementia etc etc.

I wait that Pill or Recipe with anticipation!

I used to not like Chat Lines because I thought they had The Solution

There is no such thing. I mean medication etc can help. We are an ageing population too. Some battle very young.

I now find venting is great and sometimes we see the answer to our questions in our chat or text.

I know you know.

37 days. A Long Time.

I am not going to make any comparisons but I assure you by your posts, it sounds like doctors are working on him. We never know where he will end up.

But focus on you and the house situation. Do not cancel leases because he says to. You have to recognise what is real and what is not. So sad when they are not nice. But that is common.

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hi @Reggiethecat

Keep posting.

Even if similar story.

Vent and reach out as often as you want

I note you use 🙏

I joined a pentecostal church.

The bible changed my life.

Not the church as much as the bible and belief in the word.

Maybe l lost you now?

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

@Former-Member

You've not lost me at all.

Whilst I'm not religious I do have my own version of faith.

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hi @Reggiethecat

Whatever version of faith you have, now is the time to use it.

We need an anchor with faith or a trusted person.

Our minds wander like a lost ship.

Anchor your thoughts to facts.

There are facts.

One fact is the hurt you feel.

Use your method to hepefully see it is not personal.

Keep posting. We do get obsessed with our situations and we need to vent.

Never worry if replies are delayed from anyone.

Use the anchor. Stop drifting

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hello @Reggiethecat , @Former-Member , @YankeeBob

We have lots of threads to look at. I can tag you to some of them if you like 👍 :ok_hand:

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

Hi @Shaz51

I am fine and prefer not to be tagged.

I will stay with this post.

Too many tags gets too confusing for me because I like to follow from the start or get a good grasp.

But thank you for asking and not just doing.

Thank you

In response to: Re: Not coping at all.

Re: Not coping at all.

OK no worries my friends @Former-Member , @Reggiethecat , @YankeeBob

Happy to talk here 😊

1 - 10 of 32
12...4