Winter solstice

Hello @Appleblossom @AuntGlow . Thanks for thinking of me on the equinox. It seems an inflection point between positive and negative leanings. A momentary pause before heading into light and heat.

I printed screeds of bank and legal documents at the library today but I feel blank and a bit vertiginous. Bone tired. Will try to work through them.

Was reminded of Paul Simon's American Tune today and listened to it several times. Seems to fit US and wider politics at present.

Feel adrift at present. Pondering how to reconnect.

Bought 2 piano tutors the other day. Haven't opened the piano for such a long time.

Feeling for you @Dimity I doubt I would be up to lots of paperwork.

🌿🥀💼

I would be distracting in the garden.

which piano books did you get?

I love that we can do piano at home in our own time and in our own way.

🙏🫶🎶🎵🍎

Anytime @Dimity

Ah yes, the equinox! I just did some reading on it here: https://www.chani.com/astro-education/how-to-make-september-equinox-magic

Does it hold symbolic meaning for you?

I like that I had to Google 'vertiginous' - I learned something new!

It definitely sounds like this whole process is nothing short of exhausting... adrift makes sense. What could reconnecting potentially look like?

Oh wow! Playing piano might help with reconnection. What are you feeling called to playing/exploring?

@Appleblossom @AuntGlow the support button isn't working again.

I have quite a bit of sheet music somewhere in my clutter but am very rusty and was never proficient. So I bought the Alfred and Hal Leonard level 2 books to get my fingers moving. My late grandmother's piano has a very soft touch so it's quite forgiving.

Today I advanced another step with the bank but procrastinated about checking the redrafted legal stuff and working on further forms.

Saw physio. I'm not getting anywhere with physio atm due to a diagnosed health problem that I'm 99% sure is a medication side effect exacerbated by both my recent surgery and the increased dosage when I relapsed. I see specialists next week... coincidentally but it's good timing.

House and garden are in disarray... not helped by my unboxing some stuff.It feels out of control but I know it's not, and that with effort I can make a difference.

Lots of aspirations but needing an infusion of positivity.

@Dimity Take the music at your own pace. Focus on your enjoyment. Gently bently. Those tutors have some great arrangements. Mind you I am distracted at the moment. Need to get my act together for choral stuff. I was playing more piano last year.

I take my hat off to you regarding the legal challenges. Every task ticked off is a win. It takes concentration and decision making.

I am sorry your med side effects are a problem. Is your physio aware of the competing issues? It seems to be an intuitive profession. My current one uses a range of approaches, but they seem to come up with different ideas.

you have been through so much with the surgery, just doing the daily tasks is genuine achievement. I am glad you have proper medical attention coming up.

Can you ignore the house a little bit, just get it semi functional but not too organised.

just some pictures…

Oh, bugger! @tyme the button is being a diva again!

Ah, I love hearing people talk about sheet music. I want to learn how to play so I can accompany myself, which would be so rewarding. Do you find the books easy to follow?

The piano sounds beautiful and so meaningful. Do you have photos?

I am sorry you're not feeling like physio is helping, I have been there... I really, really hope the specialists can help.

Also, totally fine that you procrastinated on a step! You're handling a lot and you still took a step forward.

I like that you have lots of aspirations, it tells me that you are still very connected to a sense of hope. I have noticed that taking small, attainable steps forward really does help with my sense of positivity, capacity, and motivation. Perhaps those little things you achieve every day, you could share with us? And that may help? Let me know your thoughts. @Dimity 💛

@AuntGlow

I have a process to creating my own sheet music... though I am not great at chords.

I write my own words and sometimes a melody just comes with them.

I record it on my tablet and then use a note recogniser to write the note with each syllable

Then I use a program on my laptop to create the melody line with the notes and recording.

I then get a pretty background and have it photo printed as Christmas presents in a simple frame.

Often times I actually scan letter writing paper into the computer and use that as the background

In the small card I write it has a url that connects to a folder online that has the pdf sheet music, the MP3 export from the laptop program and a copy of the lyrics.

You say "I have noticed that taking small, attainable steps forward really does help with my sense of positivity, capacity, and motivation" Agreed @AuntGlow .

Some days are worse than others . I'll flip that: some days are better than others.

At present I'm achieving nothing more than survival. A couple of relatives are interested in my end of life preparations. Hence the legal documents. All other relatives have ceased contact.

I haven't tried the piano tutors yet. I need to try to schedule soulcare into the day.

I love the pictures @Appleblossom . Thanks.

Sorting the house is becoming an imperative due to my complicated family situation. It's been hanging over me too long. It feels dire (there'll be repercussions). I'll try to get through the immediate paperwork first. I procrastinated much of the last week.

I've had an earworm for several days. https://youtu.be/ZCmgKSUXH18?feature=shared

@Dimity I have a Simon and Garfunkel book open on my piano at the moment, choosing a song for singing group. Lol

love the concept of soulcare.

family fragmentation is really hard. There are usually complicated webs of trauma and inadequate resources and misunderstandings that lead to it.

Do what you have to do.

🙏🌈

I need to fine tune things and tidy a few things, but I have to get through to next year, so tossing up the different commitments… plus being kind to myself.

🍎