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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Sending hugs @Dimity 🫂❤

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Summer solstice is approaching...

I should be making the most of the light.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Me too, @Dimity ! I'm OK in the mornings, but once it gets to about 5pm I shut up shop for the night and achieve nothing. We operate on opposite ends of the day, hehe.

I was aiming to tackle the shed stuff in January, but the house is out of control so that meeds to come first.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yes indeed @NatureLover , morning lark and night owl.

I'm glad you still have use of the shed, after that uncertainty a few months ago.

I spent four hours on house & garden today but things still feel out of control. I'm glad I have the mood & activity tracker. It seems I'm improving, but there's a long way to go. I'll have to start afresh with decluttering, I've lost track.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

4 hours, @Dimity ! Well done, that's a huge effort! 👏

Decluttering seems to come after chores, for me - I can't seem to get both done, and it seems you neither?

The shed is still uncertain as my neighbour let her lease lapse and is now on a monthly lease system.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I agree @NatureLover chores first then decluttering. But because I've been falling behind with chores they take longer and I run out of steam. Also chores are clearly defined. Decluttering isn't (I have no obvious trash).

Solution? Keep up with chores and declutter regularly. Or maybe let chores slide for a day to do a stint of decluttering.

I'll see how things turn out tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Yes, when I have a long burst of decluttering I let chores slide.

I've realised I'm pushing burnout again 😥

@Dimity

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Hugs @NatureLover . Safe virtual hugs, no germs. I've written a long reply on your thread and in the process got a clearer idea of what I need to do myself.

Immediate TLC for you - don't risk pushing through til after Christmas.

For me I should try to blitz my heavy work before I'm restricted. I'll ponder inviting my past helpers back - the gardening one and the boxes & transport one.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thank you dear @Dimity for your two thoughtful, caring posts. And for your germ-free hugs ❤

I'm glad you also benefitted yourself in your responses.

I've made a decision not to volunteer extra at Christmas this year like usual. I need to rest.

I'm happy to work with you on your blitz and share reports. Good luck deciding about the helpers.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

I'm glad you'll be able to limit your involvement @NatureLover. Your work seems important but your well-being is important too.

I saw the physio today to plan my post-op recovery. There'll be a lot to do beforehand but I don't seem able to get started. Procrastinating, needing energy, motivation and willpower. I'll try tomorrow.

551 - 560 of 1,445