Winter solstice

Wow @Dimity ! Am so happy for you! 🥳

I hadn't realised it was your eye op yesterday - somehow I thought it was just an appt.

Thanks for being glad about my baby spinaches...I'm hoping the possums don't eat them, as happened with my attempt at growing veggies many years ago, and also with my rose in a pot.

Good luck with reading print...let me know if it's better!

It was indeed just a routine appt @NatureLover but the eye surgeon had the laser equipment in another room and it only took a few minutes.

I bought a cherry tomato seedling and some basil today. I'll repot them.

That was brave of you, to agree to the eye surgery on the spot, with no psyching up for it! @Dimity

I really hope it helps with reading print.

I'm envious of your cherry tomato seedling. Don't you have to have stakes though, to train it up them?

I'd researched the condition and its treatment after seeing the optometrist @NatureLover so it wasn't a surprise. I just wasn't sure of the timing.

I'm not sure about the staking. It might depend on how big the cherry tomato gets.

I'll have to unpack my expensive reading light and try it. I think I'm still having a bit of trouble in low light. But bright sunlight is very bright and I need sunglasses.

I hope your mood is improving with the longer days.

How did your cataract surgery go today @Former-Member ? I trust it makes a big difference having both eyes done.

Awww @Dimity ,

I'm sorry you see yourself as a "defective human". That's very hard to have this belief hanging over you. Yet believe it or not, i can relate to it.

When I used to look at others, I'd think there was something 'wrong' with me and I was 'innately' wrong. It was so hard to sit with these ideas and try to be 'happy'.

It's taken a lot to move from this schema.

I wonder if you can be supported to reframe these ideas?

There is so much in you @Dimity . I just want to say how much I appreciate you, and I'm sure others can say the same.

Hugs @Dimity

Hi @Dimity @Jynx @tyme

@currently laying in bed in hospital following 2nd cataract surgery this morning. Have to wear the eye shield until I see opthamologist tomorrow mid morning. Outcome of 1st surgery went well and took couple weeks to fully get benefit.

last couple weeks feel like have just be surviving emotionally. Can understand the struggling for words and/or not feeling like talking or chatting. Feeling like I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. Only left the house this last 4 weeks if there was no other options.

Last appointment with psychological was about 5 to 6 weeks ago and am not going back!! Only saw him once each 3 months, room felt sterile and lifeless, never connected with him or felt comfortable with him. He also never fully listened to me or paid attention to my past, even though I gave him typed list of traumatic events.

my last appointment with him I mentioned I had chosen the opthamologist I see as my Father in law has seen him for years. Psychologist started saying about how good to have my dad supporting me and him sharing his contacts with the eye surgery. I couldn’t find words to say. Psychologist parting words were if I need to see him again I need to get new referral.

have had few other things happening recently that’s left emotions feeling raw, tender and has been more than once I’ve spent days in tears or no interest to get out of bed

@Dimity I don’t have any children either …. Well, human children. My pets are and always have been my family. Dealing with my 2 cats which are both 4year old is like having 2 teenagers at home who have a love hate relationship. Know it’s not the same as having human children. By rescuing the different pets you have, you gave them a nice life and new family. Would I be correct in saying you gave each and everyone of them you love and devoted time to?
The things you have done and share on the forums show you are a special person who has a massive heart, is caring, a good listener who has lots of empathy and is a wonderful support.

know it’s hard in the challenging periods to be positive (I know that feeling all too well). Try to remember you are important and special to those of us on the forums …. Plus Tiger

AAww @Former-Member , hun. Thanks for thinking of us and passing through even though you've just had your surgery. I hope it all goes well with your recovery. I guess we all only have a set of eyes, and so it can be very worrying if things don't go according to plan.

I'm glad you have your pets to keep you company.

I have a thought @Former-Member @Dimity @NatureLover and others... do you think society is too pre-occupied with the idea that we must all have children?

I certainly don't have children, but I think my life is more full by not having them.

Or can society be pretty okay with people not having kids?

I'm interested to hear your thoughts if you feel up to it.

Thanks for your lovely message @Former-Member . I hope you're home now and relaxing with your furry felines.

Yes it sounds time to shake the dust off your feet with that psychologist and move onto someone better. Your gp may be able to recommend someone. I found mine from an online directory. I'll probably go back to her and try again, having not seen her for 2 or 3 months. I hope you can follow that up quite soon.

I guess you'll be taking things quietly for the next week or two. Hopefully your vision improves quicker than last time. Will you need new reading glasses?

@tyme having kids seems central to most people's sense of what society and their personal identity is all about.

My late father told me he didn't feel he should be leaving me any inheritance as I didn't have kids. And when I started attending a local church a lady told me I was unwelcome - I was going to family services without wearing a wedding ring, and setting a bad example.