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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Jynx , @tyme

MIL has shingles

Had to leave peer chat tonight. Sorry ❤️

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Oh no @Shaz51 ! I hope she's okay with it. How old is your MIL?

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Nearly 90 @tyme

She says she is OK but she is very independent lady ( we are questioning about how she is )

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

LOL @Shaz51 , maybe that's how she managed to make it to the ripe old age of 90! Being fiercely independent.

At that age, I've learnt that you can't change them 🙂

Look after yourself. You've had a BIG day.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

MIL and my mum are so much alike @tyme

Gardeners, very independent, loving , caring

Yes will be in bed soon here , maybe a lazy day tomorrow might be needed

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Amazing... @Shaz51

It's funny to see sometimes how alike people can be even though they've grown up in totally different households.

Please look after yourself. I'll catch you when I see you on the forums next.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Congrats on the anniversary of your move @Former-Member . I hope you're happy with it overall.

How is your eyesight? Much improved I trust, and you should be back to normal activities. Do you have a date for the other eye yet?

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Eye sight in left eye is bit blurry without glasses at times @Dimity . Feels weird watching TV without my glasses on, this time last time I was hardly about to see anything clear in that eye unless it was at the end of my nose.

appointment booked for 30 October to have right eye done, can’t wait. Bruise on back of my hand where they put needle in for anaesthesia will hopefully be gone by then.

taking things easy this week and staying at home. Will get out of the house for walk couple times next week. Due to wearing compression stockings, opthamologist prefers me to wait until 1 week after surgery before getting footwear on

couple weeks time need to buy pair of cheap 2.5 reading glasses as per information from opthamologist

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@tyme @Jynx

went to bed early hours this morning after watching and listening to some of the podcast that @RachSANECEO shared last night.

Memories of things about early intervention leaving me low and emotional today. So close to home. Have thought and wondered for long time now if early intervention had been provided to my dad and/or myself how my life would have turned out.

was great hearing Rachel talk yet at same time it hurts. Hurts and makes me angry that it took more than 5 years for my dad to get the help he needed. Years as a teenager I went through abuse that could have been possibly been prevented. Abuse that has left me dealing with my own ongoing medical health conditions.

not angry with anyone, just venting whilst trying to work through the pain and tears

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

oh gosh @Former-Member I'm sorry it had that effect 😕

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