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Something’s not right

Winter solstice

Winter solstice

Longest night of the year and the darkness and coldness have really hit. Things seem really bleak. I've been struggling for a long time and was pacing myself to this point but can't see beyond it. I'm safe but despairing. I'm trapped in a vortex of family dysfunction from earliest years and emotional pain, received and (mea culpa) inflicted. I can't help my closest sibling - all others are estranged - and I don't seem able to extricate myself from personal difficulties and dilemmas that at present ďefine me - I have no connections or other identity. I've lost faith in my mh team.

I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, and I'll keep taking one day at a time, but I can't envision a future, my future.

1445 replies

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In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

@Dimity aww hun! Some huggles for you: 🫂🫂🫂 Glad the walk helped 😊

Ach yeah that would be super confronting! Not surprised some SI has crept up on you, are you managing ok? That would be such a tough choice, and big kudos to you for pushing through to do some reading.

If you're up for it, we've got a lighter topic for PGC this week (The Importance of Play) that could help provide a nice distraction?

Sending love 💜

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks @Jynx I'm holding on.

Wish I could join the PGC but I have trouble with Chatwee on my phone... hope it's fun

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Sitting with you @Dimity ❤️

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Thanks @Shaz51 . I was just starting to think about cooking when the cat jumped on my lap so it's cuddle time instead.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Oh blast, that sucks @Dimity! I suppose you've tried troubleshooting already?

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Cats are amazing @Dimity . Quite often they sense when we are not feeling 100% or are struggling to deal with things. My 2 cats have been begging to be on my knees majority of the day.

Im lucky, my opthamologist works in a private hospital.

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

A light and cheerful book sounds good, @Dimity 🙂 Have you tried the new light yet?

One problem I found with researching NBN plans recently is that low bandwith usage wasn't taken into account. Most plans are 'unlimited'. Meaning you pay more but don't use it all. 😣

In response to: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Very sorry to hear about your passive SI @Dimity 😥

Also that you suffered some family unpleasantness when you were vulnerable, after your eye surgery 😥

Good luck with your difficult surgery decision 🤞

I'm jealous of your grapefruits. Not that I'm allowed to have grapefruit any more, due to one of my medications.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

Maybe it's the speed not the bandwidth I can save on @NatureLover .

I haven't unpacked the light yet. I'm not sure what's holding me back. I've been feeling very negative.

In response to: Re: Winter solstice

Re: Winter solstice

There's something in that re cats' perspicuity @Former-Member . My cat has been agitated and complaining at times until I sit down, then climbing on my lap. And he was stressed in the lead up to my eye op and about the stay in the cattery.

i trust youve had no wind damage @Former-Member @NatureLover . I've had none bar picking up some twigs.

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