Dumb question, but… why is mental health important, anyway?

Hi @florencefifty

To focus on your title, mental health is important.

A serviced and maintained car helps yiyr safety. Does not stop accidents. But protects use. Drive with a few bold tyres and car health will make your journey unsafe. You may get the the place, but not healthy.

To know what a good relationship is, we need to know what bad is too.

You found someone. For a few reasons you are not together.

Arranged marriages suit some and not others.

Focus on your mental health.

Try and find a place in your mind where you are content. Maybe you will have kids or your new partner had kids.

The past we learn from. We have to live today.

Dumb question, but… why is mental health important, anyway?

Not a dumb question. Rather it's a question that has many facet with numerous topic linking to mental health. For example, mental health may include emotional, psychological and physical health. Subjectively, it can be related depending on the perspective of the person asking the question. In my personal experience, mental health comprise all three. If I were to neglect any one of these three, my mental health can start to decrease.

To provide some insight:

Emotional health includes the awareness of my own personal emotion arising throughout the day, feelings of particular events that occur or may occur and the steps I take to meet my emotional health needs. For example, a sudden sadness engulfs me. Whether I acknowledge this sadness that radiate from me or not, will affect my emotional health. Hypothetically, I am aware of the sadness, but stop seeking out the core reason as how it was invoked or what the sadness represented, then I would be acting passively, with the assumption that the sadness would disappear. In this scenario, I am avoiding the issue and simply placing a temporary bandaid over my emotional health. Would it fix it now? sure, but the emotional damage will return twice as powerful and the sensation would be worst than the first time. This would then affect my psychological and physical health. Psychological in the manner, I am not taking responsibility of my emotional health and by brushing it aside, my skills to deal with such task will diminish in the future and would decrease my confidence in my own ability. Physically, this would affect me various ways, such as drop in self confidence, personally demoralised and start to believe I am unable to do anything. This will have a cascade effect and it will never stop unless I take responsibility and start addressing my emotional thought, feelings, sensation, etc.

Sounds like a lot of work. It is. But the alternative is mentioned above.

I'm not happy that I have to refer to this quote, but the truth is, it's true and honest. "Nothing worthwhile will come easy."

Now, when people tell me that everything will be OK, why should I believe them?

Are these people you? Do they have to experience what you experience?

But if I accept that, what other circumstances should I passively accept?

Is this what you want? Do you wish to conform to other peoples wants/needs and neglect your true desires?

If so, what life are you living? For yourself? or for other people?

it’s OK because I still have the sun.

Do you own the sun?

I just can’t believe that it’s gotten to this stage.

It's happening right now. Running away or trying hard not to believe it is happening. How does that make you feel?

If I looked a little better, or been a little less me, I might have attracted someone, and this never would have happened.

You mention if, does that mean you have spent all the available time on this planet and you cannot change physically or in any manner? Does that mean your life is all over then? If that's the case, the questions you ask won't change in any way or form.

You have lots of question, but the truth is, no one can give you those answers you want to hear or accept. Only you can. I would highly recommend you speak to your gp and seek out further advice to receive a recommendation to see a professional. These answers you seek won't happen overnight. There is no magic pill. I know because I was searching for it at one point in my lilfe.

I can be good enough for my arranged wife.

Where is the evidence coming from? From your mind? the same mind that is asking all these questions and jumping to conclusion without any facts or evidence?

I think you know deep down what you want. It is okay to be afraid. However, behind the fear, can you see the excitment and the possibility even your own mind cannot imagine? It's that worth taking a leap of faith? Failure is part of life. In the early years as an infant and slowly growing to become a toddler. Watch how many times they try to walk and fall over, and over, and over. Do they give up to try to walk and crawl for the rest of their life? You know the answer to this question. You, yourself are living proof of that accomplishment. What appeared impossible isn't impossible. It just requires practice and you will no doubt acquire the things you want in life, like you did when you were a toddler, child, adolescent and adult. You don't learn to walk overnight. You also don't stop trying after one try. Inside yourself, you know eventually, you can walk and it will be the best feeling in the world!