ChrisSenior Contributor
My Goal in Life Was----
To have a family,children and husband and for it to be very different to the way I grew up
.Growing up I lived with fear, fear of so many things,anger rage confrontations,being abused,intruders,fear of failure.I felt unloved and unlovable
Well I left my homeland to start a new life.I soon met someone and we married.Eighteen months later we welcomed a much wanted and loved baby girl.But it was not straight forward. She was born with a congenital defect and was rushed to the city for major surgery.I didn't see her for another week...I felt so guilty, even though Drs kept telling me it was just something that happens from time to time.It was very difficult to bond with her.
Two years later I had a baby boy was just perfect.Two years later we welcomed another boy, and yes,our third born son came to us.Life was busy and stressful
mum moved in with us after the death of my father(when our oldest son was two).This complicated everything due to her being so needy and she had other health issues.
As time went on the boys had to go to various therapies,speech,occupational health,just on and on.Two were diagnosed with learning difficulties,so there were ongoing issues throughout there school life. I found it very difficult to relate to the children between the ages of three and twelve, and I guess that's because that was my most difficult period in childhood.
How have they all turned out?My daughter has worked very hard in the hospitality industry.She is currently carer for her ninety two year old grand father(who is very difficult man)She handle him well. She also has a sixteen year old and ten year old. Im very proud of her.Son number one care for his wife who has severe anxiety and their twelve year old daughter.Son number two,is a b.w truck driver, his long held dream since the age of seven.Son number three works full time even though he could be on the disability pension.He has two little girls.and Im very proud of them.
So did I achieve my goal? I think yes! despite all the hardship,all the times I was away from them in a psychiatric hospital their mentally and physically ill grandma living with us..They have come through it, and I think all of them are more compassionate caring adults because of their childhood experiences.
So if you have young children, and are struggling to cope.take a breath,give them a hug and tell them that you love them. That's what they will remember when grown up.
