travelineContributor
Re: Depression - Just Can't Get Going
Thank you Tawney for sharing this post. I'm just going through an episode my self 😞 For three days I'm in bed after it slowly developing for weeks now. I planned to do things - but I dont. It does not cross the barrier from thinking to acting. Everything hurts, I'm crying without knowing exactly what I'm crying about. Luckily I was off work the last days, but I can hardly function at work in general. And working is hard. You have to 'play' a role the whole time to be accepted by healthy people and not labelled the 'weirdo'. My memory, my enthusiasm or motivation for work is nearly non-existant. I feel like just wanting to lay down, sleep and never wake up again, all the time. I cannot talk with anyone about it, as nobody here knows what I'm going through. It is hard. Still I feel this pain inside me everyday. On other days I'm just numb and cry. I'm on medication for my bi-polar, but sometimes I start thinking it is the wrong one. I do not have highs anymore, but now I'm constantly trapped in a low. I caught my self in questioning the purpose of me being here and accompanied thoughts. I'm living a bit rural, so all support groups are quiet far away and I'm scared of attending. I'm not on centrelink so I have to work. It is so much pressure. It is so hard to keep on going and doing the right thing on the side, like not drinking, doing recreational drugs or eating the wrong foods. And like the article said, it is hard to just get out of bed and moving. I feel I'm not alone and I'm with anyone out there who suffers too.
Also got another job with nice colleagues since yesterday, so that helps a lot! It keeps me busy and negative thoughts have not so much time to kreep in. Also contacted my doc for a psychotherapy, so I hope this will work out well.
