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Back, and only mostly bitter

FishSenior Contributor16 June 2023, 6:12 pm AEST

Back, and only mostly bitter

Hellooooo crew! It has been a spell. I've had several good years and BARELY been here but I'm back in fine form.

I got myself into full time work and held that shit down for two and a half years until I had another massive burnout. It was work-related and at least I've had extended paid time off, but that's a whole other minefield. I'm a bit stuck between a rock of feeling like work is discrimination and breakdowns, and a hard place of worker's comp bringing up Centrelink trauma.

The main problem right now is just feeling so isolated, which prompts me to react out-of-proportion to stuff I'm hearing from my care team, especially to anyone I see as being in authority. This isn't this worst of teams but apart from my psychologist they're not experienced in working with bipolar, trauma, or neurodivergence, let alone all the above, and the insurer doesn't understand why typical burnout measures aren't working. I feel like I have to fight so hard to be heard and respected, and lately I've been leaving case review appointments in tears. My GP is loose with my confidentiality around the rest of the care team and she's recently disclosed some unrelated issues to my occupational therapist and case manager without my consent. I feel like the subconscious team approach to my care is often very condescending, reluctant to listen to lived experience, and focused on doing things for me rather than with me.

I guess I just wanted to reach out here and remind myself that I'm not actually alone in this. I know it's gonna be ok. I'm safe and well, I've got a wonderful husband and great friends, and I have niche skills that will eventually lead to a great career. I just need to get there without rage quitting the whole process!

Love to all

Fish

2 replies

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In response to: Back, and only mostly bitter

tymeModerator16 June 2023, 6:19 pm AEST

Re: Back, and only mostly bitter

Hey there @Fish ! I love the name and the pic, and your post!

Thanks for remembering us and getting in touch again 🙂

It sounds like you have been able to better yourself in many aspects of your life, but it has come to the point where you feel a little "unheard"?

Certainly, the forums are a great place to connect with others and hopefully you will feel less alone in all this.

I hear how frustrating it can be for people to do things 'for' you and not with you. It can make one feel sorta 'invisible' to the 'process', even though it's about YOUR life, eh?

Whatever it is, welcome back 🙂

There are many who have been through similar experiences, I myself, included. So no, you are not alone.

In response to: Re: Back, and only mostly bitter

FishSenior Contributor17 June 2023, 11:28 am AEST

Re: Back, and only mostly bitter

Thanks @tyme 🙂 That's a nice summary from a less overwhelmed perspective - I have actually made so much progress. And at least I'm feeling unheard on a larger and more stable income than last time. Money doesn't buy happiness, but being reliably able to pay for rent *and* food sure alleviates a lot of unhappiness.

I also have a great new psych and she's got that perfect balance of hearing me but also pushing me when needed.

Thanks again for reaching out 🙂

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