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Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Ever_LearningNew Contributor15 June 2023, 6:09 pm AEST

Dementia, aggression and a social situation

The situation is a small NFP organisation’s committee that’s been going for a few years. Someone on the committee has become single-issued, emotional, illogical, repetitive, and lately using verbal aggression. This is completely out of character for them. Their behaviour has been changing over a couple of years, previously they were urban, articulate, and a champion of the value of diverse opinions in an organisation. Now this person is accusing others of loosing sight of the committee’s purpose and mission, and comes to the meetings with new ideas that would materially effect the viability of the organisation, and they want commitments made at that same meeting. Really it’s a social situation, if the NFP folded there are clients that would loose support, but nothing life threatening. Now I’ve no training in dementia, but have had limited lived experience of it in a parent, and it seems to me this persons behaviour could be explained by dementia. The people on the committee have only light social connections to each other and we’ve no information that the aggressive person has dementia, but we still need to function as a committee. My sense is to try to avoid a power struggle with this person, but I haven’t worked out how to do that yet. Dose anyone have a strategy to mitigate this persons aggression? This is my first post on the forum, is there enough detail or too much? Is my question clear enough? Thanks

4 replies

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In response to: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Unknown userMember15 June 2023, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Hi @Ever_Learning .

A hard situation and l feel your concern for the Nfp survival.

Has anyone checked with the family of the person to see if he has been diagnosed with dementia?

That would help with the committee supporting his decisions.

How many are on the committee to vote?

One would think regardless of his health, he would not have the final decision.

The other strategy is election of chairperson and you stand.

It is hard if they have no formal diagnosis.

Are you close enough as a froend to suggest you note changes and they should see a GP?

In response to: Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Ever_LearningNew Contributor15 June 2023, 11:09 pm AEST

Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Thank Mk333, I aware of the formal ways to use the constitution to deal with a disruptive committee person along the lines you outline, but those formal means bring there own risks, are very lengthy, and would end the persons service to the committee to an unpleasant end.

You seem to be implying that there's little likelihood of being able to manage the aggressive/emotional behaviour in a social setting.

Is that where you're coming from?

Thanks

In response to: Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Unknown userMember16 June 2023, 8:24 am AEST

Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

Hi @Ever_Learning

Next time use the @ and a drop box will show the name to select. The @ directs the message.

I appreciate you saying you are aware of the process.

I probably draw on the fact we have a female mother chair of our owners corp. The family is always in court. The mother is the instigator. Even at tribunal she cannot be removed because in a democracy she is voted in. Others are scared of her. She is very aggressive and abusive and the corporation is not running well. Police activity has not helped because they know the failures of the court system. Our meetings are once a year. So i accept it and the bad decisions because bureacracy is not assisting.

I have to accept it. Arghhh.

Your situation sounds different as you think there may be signs of Dementia. If the person has family it could be good to discuss. But family probably know. If the person is approachable, support is the best. Maybe see if you can take them to a GP. But many are in denial.

So l supppse l am implying we cannot change others behaviour, unless they are aware and want help.

One hopes people see sonething is wrong and rally support.

I had to learn:

We cannot change others.

We can change how we react.

Maybe l am not helping you. Sorry

In response to: Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

outlanderSenior Contributor21 June 2023, 1:21 am AEST

Re: Dementia, aggression and a social situation

hi @Ever_Learning

i care for someone with dementia and some of the things you listed are some common signs, obviously i cannot diagnose this person.
have you considered speaking to them by themselves? avoiding it coming across as a personal attack, it would be more approaching it from a concerned perspective, like asking how they are, asking if they are struggling and if you can help. those who are struggling with dementia signs or are in a denial stage regardless of mental state approaching from a point of concern can be beneficial.

is it possible to talk to someone on the committee about this persona behaviour and your observation?

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