Feeling lost and unsure

Hi,

First time poster here, and only just joined so I hope I'm doing this correctly. Sorry for the mini essay.

I've got MDD, GAD and suspected BPD.

I recently left my job of 4+ years due to stress and bullying after I had a mental breakdown. Luckily for me, I've got a great support network and community resources available to me. I count my blessings for these things, as I have grown up in rural areas that DON'T have anything at all.

Unfortunately my husband is now the only person earning a wage in our household. I applied for Centrelink and had my claim approved but my husband is earning JUST over the threshold for me to get ANY kind of helpful payment/concession card/etc., if it doesn't get cut off altogether.

I'm feeling like a burden at this point. I feel completely at the whim of any potential unexpected expense and I'm scared.

My husband and I are going to sit down and discuss our expenses soon and see what we can do to restructure them, but I'm predicting a struggle despite his increase in wages at his new job.

I just want to be able to recover mentally, but not bringing in any money to our household is directly effecting my ability to do so. My therapist is great, but expensive, and I've come a long way to find someone that works well with me so I'm hesitant to go elsewhere.

I don't want to get worse, but my MDD, GAD and BPD are rearing their ugly heads at the moment and my impulsivity and mood swings are getting worse. I feel utterly stuck and I just want to crawl under a rock. I'm medicated, and it was increased with this breakdown, but I honestly think I'm getting worse. Psychiatrist for a medication review? $200+ minimum. God help me.

Can't I just find a new job? Yes but I have constant panic attacks even just thinking about it. My confidence in my ability to work and fit in at a workplace was completely shattered at this last job. I physically sweat from panic just thinking about it...

I need a miracle at this point if I have any hope of feeling stable and happy again.