Depression

My depression has been pretty bad recently, people following might guess why easy enough. Today its been really bad. Ive said I dunno like 30 or 40 words total. I didnt shower yesterday or today and Ive been trying really hard too. Where I shower is in Mums room and I dont want to go down there is part of the problem. I just want to be in bed, just hide there, sleep and ignore everyone and everything. My lumbar is really painful, as are shoulders and the shoulder part on my back which this dumb arse content blocker dosent realise is a part of the body and not a piece of sharpened metal that often goes into a handle and used in the kitchen to prepare food. My pain specialist said no point doing anything about the spasms by time meds worked we would be going in for the procedure. Another week of pain, spasms and intermittant sleep at best. I just cant find anything positive in my life. I know its only a week but it seems like forever away, like it might as be 5 years down the track. Ive done my latest large post, I played on it most of today, about the only thing I actually did. I do them each day, it amazes me that I actually have this much to write, didnt think I would when I started, didnt think I had enough for one big post let alone all the ones Ive done.

Ive just added a bit about the content blocker, it ticks me off. Most of the time you can say what you are trying to say just with more words. It blocks words containing the word you want to post that is completely harmless but has a word it has on the block list in it. Most of the words are relatively harmless and there seems to be so many words that limit what you can actually talk about or easily. I think there needs to be a more intelligent bot implimented, one thats not so cut and dry and the list of words revised. Are you blocking due to potential harm? Are you being excessive? Are you limiting free speech and open dialog on this forum? I undersand limiting dose but a name of a medication? People still have to get a doctor to prescribe it, its not like they can go out and say Malen said this worked for me so Im gonna eat them too. A doctor has to prescribe it and the doseage if its suitable for them. I dont get some of this stuff, it just makes it harder to talk freely and openly and means you say more stuff about things so the reader knows what your on about but you havent actually said the naughty word