JJWeldContributor
Update
Hi all, just wanted to get a bit off my chest and vent a bit I spose. My relationship with my schizophrenic partner came to a crashing end unfortunately. She pushed me away and probably for the best but I’m left with so much on my mind and so many unanswered questions. Things escalated very quickly for the worse and I hung on as long as I could but the final straw was her starting a huge fight in my home one night, assaulting me then walking back to her place at 11 pm and sleeping with her next door neighbour.
For what I tolerated from her was something I’d never experienced before but when she told me this, I couldn’t look her in the eye again. This was after constant abuse, disrespect, lies, demands, ranting and raving. If she didn’t get her way she would storm out of my house and abuse me constantly. 2 panic attacks, endless nights with little or no sleep, complete exhaustion and trying to function properly at work, she still had not an ounce of empathy or compassion. The mind games left me wondering who I was and still do. Manipulation at its finest and gaslighting, ghosting and every other name there is for mental anguish.
To think I said I would never give up on her is unbelievable. She believes she has everything under control, has no intention of seeing a therapist or even going back to her mental health care team. Communication was nearly non existent and when I told her I was trying to learn about her illness from internet she mocked me and thought I was weird. She would tell her daughter I was a bad man and that I was no good for her and her mum. Everything I did for her was rejected in some way and I was constantly made to feel worthless and never good enough.
it’s been a couple of months but it’s still hard as I’m new to where I live and she was my closest friend as well. Nothing is ever easy for good hearted people. We get used and abused and ditched like we have no value. It’s happened my whole life and all it does is affect my mental health in so many ways. I used to be so outgoing, loved meeting new people, but now I barely leave my house apart from work because life and the people in it have taken so much from me. And when I meet someone out of the blue, I put all my faith in them and it happens again. Life is shit. Had enough of being let down. JJ
