Neurodiverse household

Welcome to the forums @Charlii and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of likeminded people in here sharing similar stories.

I had to laugh recently when Prince Harry said his family was weird!!! I think we all have crazy, weird families!

Heres a gentle hug 🫂 from another mum working full-time with quirky characters surrounding me.

Take care and ask whatever questions you need to.

Hi @Charlii,

I'm new here too. I am in a similar situation. I have been in a relationship with my partner of 3 yrs now and he has severe depression, anxiety and chronic adjustment disorder. I thought I was the sane one lol.

I have been through HELL and back and lost the plot last week and ended up in emergency after I couldn't take any more.

In turn, it has led me to finally put myself first and start getting the help I need 🙏 Yesterday I had received my first ever diagnosis of BPD.

Everyone around me always said I had issues fobbed it of and I was just a waste of time and they moved on. Because I always put people first I never got the help I needed til now.

My partner has stuck around even with all his problems and I love him for that. He said there was something wrong and noticed my personality would change often and very quick. Other people have told me I had Bipolar (probably because it was the easiest explanation for untrained people to label me)

I thought it was just me bottling everything up til I exploded and nothing wrong with me. I'm still trying to adjust to the diagnosis and my situation at the moment, and deal with chronic depression and anxiety too, which comes hand in hand.

We all need someone to relate and talk to with the same issues, because unless you have it, you don't really know what it's like.

I have a friend I've known for 30yrs and she has BPD, without realising I do too. It was very difficult at times and adjusted to her moods and personality. I now realise how other people around me have felt and how hard it is to cope with sometimes.

We don't know it ourselves until diagnosed.

Here's to a positive journey of healing and happiness moving forward with support, guidance and like minded community on here 🙏 ✨️

Cheers 🍻

Hello @Charlii welcome to the forums & thankyou for taking the time to share your story.

Big Hugs!💗

Sorry, I don't have any advice - except the obvious, - do less😊 I am astonished reading your story. I guess I don't get out in the world enough to realise this is considered normal daily life for many.

To me, being a mum/parent is the greatest responsibility, human role, possible. I don't have any children. I have massive respect & awe for those who do, & do it quite successfully.

Working full time is massive! Perhaps my perception is different than mainstream. To me, even if I was able to secure employment I loved doing, no doubt, the demands would invariably impact me, as would be expected.

Then, you mention your neuro- diverse household. Wow. I am neuro-diverse. Currently I am needing extra supports due to critical stresses.

If, I could offer any advise it might be to prioritise. Perhaps write list of things that must be done. Most to least important.

Top of the list - 30 mins a day for you. To do whatever you want.

I believe you are a positive, capable person. And I get why you describe taking your cape off at the end of the day.

All those emotions you listed, that is a normal day for me! I'm not sure if it's 'abnormal.' I have accepted it is part of me, part of life. You would be best guide. If it feels like you having dramatic 'mood swings' - I think that is different & would suggest taking time to make GP appointment.

I think it's really healthy that you could express all of this here. Thankyou for sharing & another hug, because....! Why not?!💗

Edit: Hi @Charlii

I thought I might share this article with you. It helped me a little. BTW - my advice is apparently wrong! According to this article. Priorities etc. I think it's more about grounding ourselves & finding place within that knows & feels calmness. Feel free to skip the intro & scroll down to 7 things.

7 Spiritual Practices For Busy, Overwhelmed People

Thank you so much @StanD for your heartfelt reply.

I think your first line got to the truth of it in that I should do less!

Absolutely, and I would love to. Well, yes and no.. I enjoy being busy, but would like to be busy doing more of the things that make me happy, like painting, art, crafting, woodworking, building, designing, gardening and just having fun being creative and being useful to others.

I would also like to be around more like minded people who understand my impulsive thoughts and crazy stressors and unique way of looking at life. I find so many people take it all too seriously and lack compassion towards people different to themselves and in issues that are so much more important than being two minutes late to a meeting. (Lol, clearly time is not that important to me).

I love living in Sydney and always have done, so working full time is the way at the moment for me to be able to achieve this, stay near my family (although only 2 in Sydney) and give my children a good start to their life.

I think these days with the demands of the workplace, working fulltime is challenging for anyone, let alone if you are juggling children. Then add a bit of ADHD, mental/physical disabilities, this and that and then some, and I agree it is totally overwhelming at times. I do suffer idealistic thoughts and BIG emotions and regularly see my GP and other supports as needed. Thank you for your suggestion on that.

Finding balance is not always easy and at the moment I am finding it challenging to prioritise healthy choices that I know will help me. I have been lacking motivation for a while now due to feeling so low on energy from everything being so constant and demanding of me. But now after quickly looking at the link you posted down the bottom, it has reminded me of the very simple first steps I could be taking.. literally. Practice1. Taking a walk in nature / mindfulness!

It's now on my list for tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how I go. 😊

Thank you so much again for responding to my first post. I have found it very helpful. Also the link you posted is really on point with what I am attuned to when I am focused and I will definitely save it and look to it when I need some TLC towards myself. 🍎🙏

Thank you @Eve7

LOL, the funny thing is I think my family is pretty normal, in our own abnormal way! I just wish it was smoother sailing sometimes. With less daily struggles.

My husband and I can't go out as my youngest refuses to allow babysitters. She drove away so many, we have now just given up.

It would be so nice just to wake up one morning and think that I could have a whole day with calmness surrounding me. Which is why I probably enjoy going to work so much. 🤔😉 At least Prince Harry can jet off somewhere when he needs a bit of R&R.. 😅

Hi @Charlii thankyou for taking the time to reply. Your writing style is beautiful & you have wonderful clarity. Thankyou for sharing with me. I'm happy my response was helpful & thank full for expressing appreciation to me.

Did you go for your walk? Your motivation has inspired me a little. And your ideas of finding like minded people. This is an interesting concept to me. I think we can all find similarities within one another. It seems to also be about, a familiarity & ease. And maybe meeting people where they are - open mindedness. I find relationships with others difficult. I think it's more about being honest & comfortable with who I am. That's not as easy as it sounds. I'm not sure, I even know who I am?! I do get the sense that I need to be more tolerant with others & I tend to lean on people more than is possibly healthy. At the same time, I could be described as emotionally distant. Perhaps similar & different to you, I'm burnt out from trying so hard.

I love being creative too.

I can relate lots about not having the time to do things important to me lately. I'm the most overwhelmed I've ever been in my life. It feels like, getting through a day is an accomplishment in itself.

Idk. Maybe I could find more moments to connect back with me.

I am learning, beginner at guitar. When I play, I feel that real connectedness where I forget about all the madness, & it's only me... fulfillment. Lately, I have not played more than 1 x week. I could consider making healthier choices for myself. Actually, I probably need to.

I was thinking how low motivation, energy is symptom of too much stress. Guitar, for me, it's like food. I have not been giving myself enough.

Anyway, food for thought.

Thanks.

How do people deal with being totally exhausted physically and emotionally after a day at work and then the over the top meltdowns, negative behaviours and constant demands of a difficult child?

It's past 10pm and my just 9yr old has spent the last half an hour telling me she's never going to talk to me again because i asked her to brush her teeth. several 'tuck ins' later, she has finally settled and I'm only now getting my down time before doing it all again tomorrow!