Why do people lash out and pass on Pain? I don't understand!

Hi @KFPDW

I totally agree. Just because you have a mental health illness it doesn't excuse you from being a good human towards others. I once had a supervisor who was awful. Other employees would say she's the way she is because of her past such and such and her current diagnosis. Well that did not wash with me. She was plain horrible some of the things she said. And I could not excuse them!

Hanami

Totally with you there @KFPDW

Sorry you've had to work with crappy people too! Not pleasant when you have to be around them all day.

❤️

@KFPDW I have definitely moved on from the workplace I referred to!

Thank goodness for us.

I love that idea about designing something. My daughter is 19 and doing vis comm at UTS and is right into drawing/anime that sort of thing. She's very talented and I can already see she will be able to use her work to help foster social change.

Hanami

Thankyou so much @KFPDW !

Hi @KFPDW

I understand your question about people lashing out - it's really hard to understand why they do this - one person told me once that "Hurting people hurt people." Really - I don't understand why people lash out and pass the pain around to other people.

Even though I am a pretty compassionate and understanding person - and sure of myself too - I have been hurt by people "passing the pain around" - which makes it totality of it worse actually. I don't understand why people do this - it makes no sense to me.

So - really - as much as I would like to reply with more knowledge - I have no idea really - except that angry people do behave it this unacceptable social manner - eventually driving other people away.

Perhaps they have a defence mechanism built into their psyche - e.g. - "Get them before they get me" - which is counterproductive - and lacks sense -

I hope you are able to get away from these people - they have a problem it seems - and maybe feel better if they feel as if they have made a problem for other people - I don't know.

But thanks for posting - I am glad you have shared this

Owlunar

This is one of the things I really struggle with. I work in customer service, and I have always said that dealing with abusive customers is an area of development for me. I said that during an interview once, and I was rejected; the TA guy said I would be yelled at during basically every call.

I think the important part is to look after yourself first. Don’t get caught up too much in thinking about how unfair it is, or being angry about it. It’s true. It is unfair. It […] sucks. It doesn’t make any sense. However true it is, though, people are going to be rude anyway. You’re going to run into that situation again, because you can’t control people’s behaviour. So just be conscious of when you’re thinking about it and getting angrier and angrier, and make sure you take care of yourself in whatever way you find works best.

Mindfulness really helps in this. My Mum said today, “why would you be angry at customers getting angry with you? They’re on the phone, they can’t travel through the phone and hurt you. They don’t come home with you.” Just remind yourself that even though you’re THINKING of people who are cruel and just plain frustrating, at the moment you’re somewhere safe.

Again, though, I struggle with it myself, so I don’t really know.

@KFPDW .

Words can hurt @florencefifty - even on the phone.

My medical clinic has a spiel they run on their phone before they answer - and there are signs around the clinic - they will not tolerate aggressive behaviour or speech and anyone acting or speaking in this way will no longer be welcome at the clinic.

This is great - I believe in it - it's a positive action.

But if you get this - anyone gets this - in a call centre - it's really tough - and it does hurt - I understand.

It would help if your family understood - I get that.

Owlunar