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Something’s not right

Islands

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Islands

as time goes by it becomes evident that nothing is getting better.

My antidepressants. My anti anxieties. My counselling. My social outings.

I AM STILL FEELING AWEFUL LONELY AND SAD AND PANICKED.

MOSTLY LONELY.

I make friends, but then never hear from them. Or they motion for me to "shrug it off", everyone has their problems they say, but then I don't hear from them again. And I'm thinking: wtf - if everyone's got their problems why are we isolating ourselves or others? Why aren't we leaning on each other? Gosh: even ants can manage that!

I feel so lost. So alone. I've begun to wake again, crying in the dark. It's turning me bitter, and I don't want to end up bitter. I'd rather die if I can't live beautifully.

29 replies

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In response to: Islands

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Islands

@tyme, I helped my mum make it. It was made with semolina, olive oil, sugar and milk. It’s not too difficult to make, it does require quite a bit of stirring

In response to: Re: Islands

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Islands

@tyme, pasta sounds good too. Do you cook much?

In response to: Re: Islands

tymeModerator

Re: Islands

Never @creative_writer - I don't cook. I live on my own so I don't bother.

In response to: Re: Islands

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Islands

@tyme, ohhh, I see. I don’t mind cooking, but my cooking skills are limited so I also eat what my parents make too. Probably should learn a bit more before I move out. Cleaning is the not fun part, you know how many dishes get dirty after cooking?

In response to: Re: Islands

tymeModerator

Re: Islands

Yes I do know how many dishes get dirty! @creative_writer - not to mention the stove, oven, splashbacks!

So I'm torn between: Do i use disposable foil, baking paper etc and produce more waste, or do I spend more time cleaning?

In the end, i opted out of cooking altogether. My sister cooks and I pay for the meals (meal kit). Then I clean the stoves. The dishwasher cleans the dishes.

In response to: Re: Islands

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Islands

@tyme, but rinsing and putting in dishes in the dishwasher takes effort too.

This is off topic. I grew up in a conservative household so discussing MH with outsiders felt foreign. I know not talking about it can have neg outcomes. My uncle (who I wasn’t close to) was probably bipolar and passed away young when his physical health deteriorated. I know my MH has affected my physical health (in terms of pain and I want to age healthly), how do I start feeling comfortable and okay with talking about things?

In response to: Islands

tymeModerator

Re: Islands

Hey @Kyle1 ,

I've been thinking about you a fair bit. Do you think speaking to someone from Griefline would help?

Griefline 1300 845 745 https://griefline.org.au/

I hear you have been hurt, and it seems like there's an element of shame in that you 'allowed' it? I want you to know that we are hearing you. I acknowledge this is so hard right now. Know that we are sitting with you.

In response to: Islands

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Re: Islands

thank you @creative_writer

thank you.

In response to: Re: Islands

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Re: Islands

thank you @tyme it probably couldn't hurt to try calling griefline...

Thanks

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